I think my heart is starting to defrost. It's a slow defrost, but it's defrosting! I can hear God whispering. Here's part of an e-mail I sent to the Refuge web team this morning. I think the passion IS still there inside me!
...I wish we could take you back to when Refuge was born - through a group of boys living on the streets, dirty and hungry, sleeping on cement and cardboard outside the back of a bar, drinking beer collected from the bottom of bottles to fill their stomachs and dull the pain, being abused in horrible ways by the drunk men at the end of the night, lost physically but also lost spiritually, no home and their hearts hanging by a thread. That is the beginning of Refuge. Even though we are so much bigger than a group of street boys now, they are still the deepest, strongest beat of our heart. Most have been lost by AIDS, abuse, starvation and sickness, but they will always be the very center of what Refuge is. Dirty, hungry, lost, scared, desperately in need of Jesus and somehow, at the same time, so, so beautiful. That's what Refuge looks like.
...it's extremely important to us to have a web site that shines the light of Refuge. We are the same as we were when we first began, just on a much bigger level now. Now we don't just reach out to the street kids, but also the orphans, the young teen who's raising her brothers and sisters on her own and having to decided every day which will eat and which won't, the man who uses what little money he makes to buy alcohol to take away the pain of living in a place that is so oppressed, the woman who's lost her child to starvation and doesn't have the money to buy a coffin and instead has to watch her child be thrown into a pile of bodies and trash to be burned, the children who are abused and forced to give up their childhood in order to survive, the blind village, the old folks home, the money changer on the streets - all are so, so broken but so, so beautiful. Jesus loves each one of them. We love each one of them..."
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You. Amaze. Me.
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