01.29.08

the sky is amazingly massive today. i took a half day from work and captured a couple photos from my camera phone on my drive home.

01.28.08

I am one lucky girl. I'm smiling to myself right now, thinking of how richly God is blessing me with the people in my life: my Mother is beyond beautiful (her heart and her smile) and she is so, so full of love; my sister somehow knows just what to say to make me feel special, especially on days when I'm hating myself; my friends are my prayer warriors, my laughter and my encouragement.

Now I'm weeping. It's overwhelming thinking of how much LOVE is in my life. I am one lucky girl.

01.26.08

There was a chance Linda could have scrounged up an extra Garth Brooks ticket for me, but no such luck. I would be leaving Staples Center right now, with my ears ringing and a wild grin on my face. Instead, I spent the afternoon working on the Known Industries web site. I still have no idea what I'm doing:


Here's how productive I was in a meeting on Friday. I even had a couple of my coworkers add their own doodles to it (note the knight, seahorse and thought clouds).

01.25.08

Today I saw small glimpse into a stranger's life, on the grocery-store conveyer belt behind me in line. One dozen frozen burritos, each covered with a thin lining of frost. The bright yellow and red packaging screamed, "I'm exciting", in attempt to make up for the fact they were, actually, quite the opposite.
It made me sad.

01.22.08

I spent yesterday evening and all of today with my dear friend Regina. I listen to her and am filled with inspiration - I desire to have the faith she has.

Yesterday, Linda and I caught sight of a rainbow stretching across the sky, full arch. It made my soul smile.

01.18.08

i dream of horses tossing wild manes to the sky; alfalfa fields stretched beyond the horizon; grandma's quilt and a pot-belly stove; curiously watching water skippers while dangling legs over the dock; fourth-of-july sparklers and sun dresses; afternoon trail rides and horse hair on my jeans; soil under my nails after planting tomatoes and corn; the smell of wet earth at the beginning of a rainstorm; hearing the soft plucking of guitar strings coming from the porch; big-eared deer leaping pasture fences; hemlock trees clothed in snow; weekend camping trips and sharing secrets by the fire; a rowboat for two and a lake all to ourselves; sledding with neighbor kids and catching snowflakes on my tongue; the smell of leather and sweet grain in the barn; sitting in the bed of an old truck, bumping over dirt roads; catching fish for dinner; sleeping under an endless sky of stars; four seasons; my very own cowboy hat; country-fried potatoes and farm-fresh eggs at the local diner; feeling free; finally finding home.

01.16.08

if i close my eyes, i see the wind as mighty waves, thrashing and crashing into the walls of my little place. tonight is filled with sounds of leaves shuddering and an occasional trash can being thrown violently across the driveway. i've always been in love with wind storms - the raw energy, the way the air fills my nose and lifts my hair into swirls of knots, the safety i feel inside as it rages outside, the way it demands attention, the little discoveries it carries and leaves in my yard...there's something magical about it all.

01.15.08

When I was a child, I remember hearing adults talk about how fast time went by. It made no sense to me - sometimes a day would seem like eternity.

Now I know what they were talking about. HOW is it my niece is already in first grade?! It feels like just last year I rushed into the delivery room and looked into her newborn eyes. Now she's drawing smiling whales and asking me to teach her how to play chess.

I wish there was a way to slow down time. It's all happening too fast.

01.13.08

it's a beautiful day today. the air is cool but when i stand in the sun i'm instantly warmed. i went outside to collect seed pods. i remember getting such a kick out of them when i was a child - it seems i still haven't outgrown the delight. i'm not quite sure what i'll do with them yet - perhaps make a mobile or chandelier...or maybe i'll paint them bright colors and hang them from red string outside as patio ornaments.

01.11.08

as soon as I got home from work I dove into photoshop and dreamweaver. it's a long process - learning by trial and error - but I actually created a concept for the refuge web page tonight:

01.09.08

i think my furnace has a small gas leak. i can smell it and it's giving me a headache. it was left on low all day and my cats are still alive, so that's a good sign. i may just be paranoid, but i turned if off just in case. warmth is wonderful but i'll take the cold over carbon monoxide poisoning.

someone almost ran me off the road today. i knew the guy saw me. he just had a bigger car and bullied his way in. traffic. smog. rude, rude people. cement. noise. lack of stars. why am i still here? i've had a wonderful desire to sell most everything i own and move to a working ranch. i'll break in the horses and bring cattle down to the lower fields and spend the evenings watching the stars come out, with dust on my boots and the smell of sage in my hair. what's holding me back?

i'm so discontent lately. i'm hungry for a change. ready for an adventure.

the idea of traveling back to zimbabwe in late spring/early summer is getting stronger and stronger. regina and i were e-mailing back and forth about it today. i want to take a month off work so i can not only help her out in vic falls, but take some time to travel. there's even a possibility of visiting the coast of mozambique. wouldn't that be wonderful?!

two songs i can't get enough of right now:
-brand new day by van morrison
-the love you save by joe tex

01.08.08

two great things about today:

1] there's a light at the end of the tunnel and work will soon be a happy place again.

2] i have heat! it feels like a summer day in here and I'm relishing the warmth.

happy day.

01.07.08

I caught a glimpse of the mountains on the horizon this morning. They were painted with snow and practically sparkling. I stopped my car for a brief moment to take it all in before heading off to work. I wish I hadn't been in such a hurry - it would have been nice to let the moment linger.

I wonder how many things I miss out on when I'm in a hurry...

This is going to be a crazy week.
Work will drive me insane before Friday hits...I'm quite certain.

On a good note, someone is coming out tomorrow evening to fix my furnace!

"notes" from todays meeting:

01.06.08

My finger nails are slightly purple, my toes are numb, I'm wearing the hood on my sweater and I can see my breath...inside my apartment. Ridiculous. I turned on the oven just to warm the place up...but the oven hasn't been on since I moved in and now the whole place is filled with a faint layer of smoke. Haha, well, I'm a bit warmer at least.
I need the landlord to fix my furnace before I freeze to death.
Brrrr.

I'm off to see Sweeney Todd. Tim Burton is my hero. Hopefully it's as fantastically creepy as I imagine it to be!

01.05.08

I just came back from running my Saturday errands. Today I decided to go to Blockbuster to see if they had any used movies worth buying. What better to do on a chilly, rainy day than curl up in bed with some popcorn and watch movies? There was a man about my age outside of the building, leaning into the corner. I wouldn't have taken a second glance his way if he hadn't said, "Hey Sweetie Pie, do you happen to have some change?". He was wearing a red hoodie soaked wet in places and he looked like he hadn't shaved in days. I could only assume he was homeless, or on the brink. I make it a habit not to hand out money (many people will use it to buy alcohol/drugs and I don't want to support the things that keep them on the streets) so I told him I only had a credit card. I couldn't stop thinking about him while I was in Blockbuster and felt compelled to help the man, so after I walked out, I went up to him and asked if I could buy him a coffee (Starbucks was next door). While I was waiting in line, I wondered if the man was making a sucker out of me (I mean, he ordered a venti double chocolate chip frappacino for Heaven's sake!)...but the more I thought about it, the more I didn't care if he was. I bought him a coffee cake as well and walked back to him, trying to smile as bright as I could. He seemed truly surprised I had bought him food too -- I wish now that I would have stayed and talked to him a bit. Asked him his name. Maybe that's all he really wanted.

I bought sushi at Fresh and Easy for lunch today. I've never bought sushi at a grocery store before. I hope I survive the meal.

One of my favorite things to do is take raindrops-on-my-windshield pictures with my camera phone:

01.03.08

Velcro is amazing. What's more amazing than just plain velcro? Velcro shoes!

I love my velcro shoes.

01.01.08

I bought the movie Milo and Otis today for my nieces and decided to watch it before passing it along. I was horrified! It's obvious some major animal cruelty went on in the making of the film. I went online to research it and found out a bunch of cats were killed in the filming. It's not that surprising considering some of the things Milo went through...like going down a small waterfall in a box, being attacked by seagulls and taking a deep fall off a cliff into the ocean.
Disturbing.

Welcome to the first day of 2008. Perhaps I should change the title of this blog to "so is my oh-so-boring life". I had a few things I could have done to bring in the new year, but spent the evening at home instead. Working on the known industries website and going to bed at a reasonable hour seemed much more appealing than fighting through crowds. When did I become so utterly boring?!

new year resolution #2: stop being a hermit