Thursday

05.08.08

i had a humbling experience this afternoon. it opened my eyes to how judgmental i can be...and also how damaging my assumptions are.
i realized today that i don't love people nearly as much as i should and i'm deeply disappointed in myself.

i had a wonderful talk with one of my bosses this afternoon -- someone i respect and trust. she told me she was the one who wanted me to stop drawing in meetings, not D. she was looking out for my best interest. oh man, did that hurt. it hurts because i've been harboring awful feelings towards D, who was completely innocent in the whole thing. it hurts because i've been carrying around assumptions and judging him. how wicked and awful of me!

i feel i owe D a mighty apology...even if he has no idea how i've been feeling towards him. i want to start fresh -- not just with him, but with anyone and everyone i've harbored ill feelings towards. my job as a follower of Christ is to love and i've been doing a pretty crummy job of it lately.

2 comments:

Lori said...

thank you so much for writing this. i sadly relate whole-heartedly.

i love you friend. you are a beautiful reflection of Christ. it is in our flaws and mistakes that He shines most brilliantly.

thank you for sharing your heart.

cc26 said...

I love this too, Jes. What a huge revelation. I do this too and I hate it. God broke you and I know He definately touched me and Lori through your story.