08.29.08

There's a chance Kalvin will still be in my life! I went riding last night and Linda (the owner of the house he's boarded at) said she's going to ask Kristin (his owner) if she can take him. It would be beyond wonderful if Linda owned Kalvin -- he would stay where he is and I could half-lease him! Linda even offered to give me lessons on him (we already had one last night). I'm really excited but I'm trying not to get my hopes up because it might be too late (considering someone is planning on coming out Monday to take him).

Last night, Linda told me that Kalvin has taken a liking to me and that we make a pretty good team. She said that I'm a quiet rider and even though I'm not very educated, Kalvin seems to really listen to me. Awww...he likes me!

Here's a picture from my camera phone last night. I took it to send to Carrie but have to share. He's looking at the camera. :)

08.26.08

I reported to jury duty today. For the better half of the morning I was hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones and be released, but after finally being called to a case I found myself hoping my name would be drawn for the jury. It's not everyday I get a chance to see the details of a court case! I'm happy to say I was called to the jury box and am now officially Juror 11 of a criminal case. Of course, I can't give out details, but so far I'm loving it! It's almost better than Perry Mason.

On a sad note, Kalvin is leaving for his new home on Monday morning. His owner's back is so bad that she can't ride at all now. She offered to give him to me (wow!) and it was such a heart break to decline the offer. Oh, how much I wanted to take him! I'm just not in a place in my life where I can afford to keep a horse. I'm sad. I'm sad he's leaving because he's an amazing horse. I'm also feeling sorry for myself...that I'm not where I imagined my life to be at 30. I thought by now I'd have land and horses. How much longer do I have to wait? It's hard to explain how important horses are to me -- I just know I was born with a special calling to have them in my life. Some of my very first memories are of horses and I've been in love with them ever since. I was just talking to my Mom last night about how I feel like I'm where I'm meant to be when I'm riding. She told me something I hadn't heard before -- she told me when I took a few months of riding lessons as a kid, the trainer told her that I was a natural rider...that I was meant to be riding. Even now I hear people tell me that I pick up on things quick and that I can connect with a horse in ways a lot of people don't. It makes me smile but it also makes me sad because for so many years I was without horses at all. I'm finally getting back into them and I never want to be without again!

My goal for this holiday weekend is to finish a painting I'm doing for Bryce's room. Here's an idea of what I'm going to do:

08.24.08

I had a dream last night that I went to boot camp. But, it wasn't a normal boot camp. There were choices of courses we could specialize in: theology, music or art. I was one of the last to pick which course to take and I remember being discouraged that there wouldn't be any openings for art by the time I got there. Surprisingly (well, not too surprisingly considering anything can happen in a dream), the other two courses were almost full and I was one of the few who decided to take art. I remember picking up my course book and feeling confident that I made the right choice. I had a feeling that I would end up being one of the best in my troop.

Later in my dream we were all in a music class (because even though we all specialized in something, we had to learn the basics of everything) and I had to sing one line as a solo. I was embarrassed and barely managed to whisper out the line.

I know it's just a dream. But, I wonder if I'm supposed to let go of my hope that one day I'll be brave enough to play and sing in front of people and pick up my paintbrush instead...

08.21.08

It seems I'm always up to something these days. It's wonderful having so many little adventures and happy times. I can't help but think of all the things I would have missed out on if Regina had never helped me get out of my hermitness. I'd still be hiding away in my little place, all by myself as the world whizzed by.

What I've been spending a lot of my days doing is horseback riding. I'm still in horse Heaven! I just love driving home after a ride, feeling tired yet strangely refreshed, and always smelling of horses and smiling to myself. My heart is happy.

08.16.08

It's Jenny's birthday tomorrow and one of her favorite animals are sheep. I made little party hats and other birthday accessories and added them to a picture of sheep for her:

08.14.08 P.S.

I've been told Joshua James has grown to be quite famous. Ah, but my love was there before the fame.

I'm hoping he'll put this song on his next album:

08.14.08

I got to ride Kalvin last night. I decided from now on I'm going to pray over us before each ride. I'm so glad I did! I asked God to keep us safe and to bless the ride and to help us communicate with each other. It was a wonderful ride! As soon as we got in the arena and started warming up, a red-tail hawk flew down and landed for a quick second before lifting off and flying over the house. They are so gorgeous and I immediately thanked God, knowing it was a special treat from Him. The whole ride went well and I felt really calm even when Kalvin started prancing around and shying at things. Then, while we were cooling down, I looked up to see this beautiful, peaceful sunset of blues and pinks. I just felt God around the whole time and felt so, so blessed. I'm still on cloud 9 from it.

08.13.08

I was doing dishes last night and noticed a piece of glass in the sink. It didn't take long to figure out it belonged to my coffee pot. To be on the safe side, I threw the pot away (the thought of swallowing slivers of glass seemed quite unpleasant). This morning I'm slow and lazy and sluggish...I need coffee to get me going!

Here's a little doodle. I love him because he's different from what normally comes out of my head:

08.12.08

I'm slightly obsessed.

08.08.08

My new love, Kalvin.

08.06.08 p.s.

Carrie called me this morning from the doctor's office and she's having a boy! On the way home from work I stopped to get her a card (because I'm just SO excited) but couldn't find any that weren't generic...so I bought some card stock and a sharpie marker instead.

Here's the outcome. It's cracking me up. I have no idea where I got the idea and I think it's hilarious the octopus on the front looks like he's farting. Heehee!

Hopefully Carrie doesn't read my blog too often and it's a surprise when she finds the card in the mail.

08.06.08

I'm weary today. Last night I had a pretty good cry and I woke up this morning with puffy eyes and a nasty headache that coffee won't cure. A hangover from tears, I suppose. I'm okay though, really, I am. I was just feeling lonely and wishing I had someone to hike down the Grand Canyon with.

I've been drawn to this song lately:

08.05.08 p.s.

The past couple of years I've really wanted to see the Grand Canyon. I was just a kid the last time I saw it and I hardly remember anything other than feeding chipmunks out of my hand. It would be an amazing adventure to hike to the bottom and back up again, camping along the way. I just finished the Donald Miller book tonight and there were a couple chapters about his trip to the Grand Canyon. It made me jealous and reminded me how much I've been wanting to go.

08.05.08

I'm not quite sure what inspired this one.

What you really find at the end of the rainbow:

08.01.08 p.s.

I feel at peace. I haven't felt this way in a long time. It feels like things are clicking in place the way they should. Horses. That was the missing piece. Horses! I was driving home tonight from meeting Kristin and her horse Kalvin (love them both!) and had a grin plastered on my face the entire drive. I was so happy...I am so happy! I'm finally riding again!

08.01.08

I didn't do much more than trot around the arena last night. Even so, I was having a blast. I'm so excited I'm finally getting back into horses! I never want to be without them again.

Tonight I might be meeting a coworker's wife and her horse, Kalvin. She offered to let me ride and even give me a few pointers. He's a gorgeous Warmblood imported from Holland, a dressage horse, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated -- but I'm also very excited!