09.29.08

I love the sky in fall...and I love taking pictures of it on my way to work with my cell phone...

09.27.08 p.p.s

well, i did it. i went darker. i don't know if i like it -- i'm already missing my old hair. i think i just need a few days to get used to it...

09.27.08 p.s.

Lily was watching me for the longest time this morning. I wonder what she was thinking...

09.27.08

I slept over nine hours last night. It was incredible. I feel so ready to take on the weekend now! Today I'll be getting my hair done (let's hope I'm brave enough to do something new and exciting) and then I'll be running a few errands before going to O.P.A. BBQ (fundraiser for the upkeep of the riding trails out here). Tomorrow will be church, a bit of packing and then meeting Ashley to ride Kalvin (she's thinking of half-leasing him with me). It's amazing how quickly the weekend speeds by!

I drew this awhile back after Susan told me she had seen a crow and a rat looking at each other on a street corner (what an odd thing to see!). Somehow, I ended up drawing a quail instead...

09.25.08

Griffin is back to his old habit of waking me up around 4 a.m. -- and keeping up his antics until my alarm goes off two hours later. I'm so tired but can't seem to fall asleep at night, which makes it even worse. My migraines are starting to come back because of the restless sleep. I cannot wait for rooms with doors to keep loud, obnoxious cats out. There's only one month to quiet, peaceful, cat-free sleep!

I got an e-mail from a friend tonight about a concert in Joshua Tree -- a band I've really wanted to see live, playing at the most perfect location. I have to pick between that and a planned Disneyland trip (I love it there during Halloween time). Both are during the same week and I can only chose one day to take off work. Even though I have the PTO saved up, I feel like I'm walking on thin ice by requesting so much time off. Oh, and tonight I had to say no to an invitation to see a huge dressage show up in LA. I just can't stand missing out on good adventures to sit in a cubicle all day instead.

p.s. I think J and Doan are fabulous. ;)

09.23.09

I get to start moving into the house on Oct. 13 and I'm so excited! I took tonight off from riding to start packing (I know, it's really too early to start packing but even if I just pack up one box it will turn the move into a reality instead of a giant daydream).

Last night, my Mom brought my two nieces out to watch me ride. It was really cool to see them get into it so much, especially when each of them got a turn being lead around on Kalvin. I remember being madly in love with horses when I was a little girl (not much has changed!) and can completely relate to their excitement.
Linda offered to let me use River next time the girls come out to visit (he's much more kid-safe than Kalvin). So, next Monday River and I are going to start teaching them all about horses -- how to lead and groom and even a little bit of riding. It's going to be so much fun!

09.22.08

Hooray! Today is the first day of fall!

Fall has been my favorite season for as long as I can remember. I love the sky in fall -- it's crisp and cool and refreshing. I love wearing thick argyle socks, beanies, scarves and hoodies that are nice and soft on the inside. I love bundling up under the covers and waking up to a morning chill. I love camping trips and Halloween and stars coming out early. Ahhh...I love it all!

09.20.08

The Adventures of Jesika and Kalvin, Part Two



...oh, and another one, just because I'm so, so happy he's back!

09.18.08 p.s.

I was driving home from riding Kalvin tonight and had one of those it's-great-to-be-alive moments. I love those.
I was peacefully tired from riding and smelled of dirt, horses and fly spray. The windows were down and my arm was sticking out as cool air blew in. The sunset was a dusty pink and a great song was playing on the radio. It was a simple, happy moment.

09.18.08

I really want to do this one day soon. I wonder if the house I might rent is zoned for a pony...the backyard is big enough!

www.personalponies.org

09.16.08

I think I might literally die if there were no such thing as music. I live off it almost as much as I live off of air, water and sunlight.

09.15.08

I'm pretty sure the thing I'm most looking forward to about the house I might rent is not the hardwood floors or the fireplace or the giant backyard...but doors. Yes, doors. Sweet, wonderful doors to lock out Griffin at night when he starts to get loud and annoying. I can't remember the last time I slept peacefully through the night...

This weekend went by so quickly! On Saturday, I went to Richie and Jeanette's wedding in Carlsbad. So many milestone events are happening to my friends! Weddings, babies, big moves...we are all growing up. (Well, most of us!) It's amazing to witness us morphing into adults. Then, on Sunday, I went to Carrie's baby shower. I still get so excited thinking about her and Charles having a little boy soon. (hooray!) It really was a very good weekend. Not only did I get to spend lots of time with Carrie, but I saw lots of old faces at the wedding/shower. It made me realize how much I miss living down there...how much I miss my old friends...

Today after work I'm going to hurry over to see Kalvin! He came back last night. It feels like today is my birthday!

09.12.08

I had so much fun with Carrie yesterday. At one point we were laughing so hard I thought I was going to burst. We usually end up doing a lot of laughing when we're together, now that I think about it. I think that's why our friendship is so special. We can have serious moments when it's needed but we sure do laugh a lot!

It was incredible seeing Carrie with her baby bump! She is adorable pregnant!

We met Linda, Ken and baby Bryce for lunch at Rutabegorz. Bryce is so cute and already seems to be bigger from when I saw him two weeks ago. Is that possible?!

09.09.08

09.08.08 p.s.

09.08.08

There's a chance I'll be moving into one of the houses my grandparent's own and rent out. It's a small, old house with hardwood floors, a garage, a fireplace and a big backyard. The best part about this little house is that I lived in it from kindergarten to third grade with my Mom and younger sister. I remember learning to ride my bike in the front yard, with my teddy bear (creatively named Teddy) in a basket over the handlebars. I remember running around the yard with Autumn, our Airedale (the most patient dog on the planet). I'd strap a blanket over her back with a belt and sometimes tie a stuffed animal on top -- she was the closest I had to a horse. I remember eating fish sticks and hot dogs at the kitchen table on warm, summer evenings. I remember sharing a room with my sister and leaping from one bed to the other, never touching the ground because it was a huge shark-infested ocean and we had to stay safely on our ships. We stored pots and pans under the beds so we could cook the fish we caught for dinner and considered ourselves fierce pirates. I remember coming home from school one day to find my hamster, Honeybear, missing. I later found out my sister had decided to take him to the front porch to read him a story and left him on the steps to get another book. He was never found. I remember the pepper tree in the front yard, with it's long, drooping branches and hard, little, red berries. I remember my Mother, so young and pretty, who loved us so much that looking back I don't have one bad memory. Not one.
It would be pretty amazing if it works out and I move in -- the place holds so much...

09.07.08

I finished reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn last night. I got the book on my thirteenth birthday and I can't believe it took me this long to open it up and start reading! I'm sad it's done and am debating flipping to the front and reading it all over again.

I had a dream last night that I was a painter (I love that I'm starting to remember my dreams again!). If I close my eyes I can still see some of my paintings. I did wonderful abstract work -- dramatic and fierce. I wonder if I could recreate one of the paintings from my dream. I'm almost inspired enough to give it a try!

09.05.08

It's done. I no longer have a myspace or facebook account. Carrie was thinking of getting rid of hers as well so I called her up and we quit together. Cold turkey. We hit delete at the same time. Actually, it was more like, delete, yes I'm sure I want to cancel my account, delete, confirm cancellation, delete...or something ridiculous like that. At any rate, I'm free!

I miss Carrie. She'll be here visiting next week and I'm so excited to see her baby belly!

09.04.08

I went out and rode River tonight. He really is a sweet horse but I couldn't help comparing him to Kalvin. He didn't let me snuggle up to his nose and if felt so strange riding him. But, it's not fair for me to expect him to be like Kalvin. Kristin (love her!) came out to watch me ride and kept saying sweet things about River...which was good because as much as I hate to admit it, I needed some encouragement. River isn't Kalvin but he's special in his own way and I need to remind myself of that.

Here's Handsome River. I'm going to see him again on Saturday (he's out of shape so right now we'll be working every other day). I have a feeling it will take just a few more times and I'll be loving River for River, not wishing he were Kalvin.

09.03.08

I was home sick today. I spent the better half of the day in bed, reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (great book so far!). I don't have the patience for being home sick. I get bored and stir crazy so quickly. Blah.

I get sick a lot. It's annoying. I'm starting to wonder if I have bad tonsils. I won't go into details (they're pretty gross) but I think I need to look into getting them removed. My Mom's friend is a nurse at St. Joseph's and is going to refer me to an ETN (ears throat nose specialist). It won't hurt to go in and get them looked at, I suppose. I'm a big chicken though and don't know how I'd handle it if he/she tells me they need to be removed. I've spent the last hour reading through online forums and it sounds horrible!!! It takes most people at least two weeks to not feel awful pain. Ugh. I guess I don't have to worry about it just yet -- who knows, it might not be my tonsils that are making me sick all the time. If not, I'll need to figure something out because I'm tired of feeling like an outbreak monkey.

09.02.08

I've been having really strange cravings these past few weeks for beer. I don't even like beer! I bought a six-pack of Coors Light last night (I was lost in the beer section and picked Coors Light because I remember my friends liking it). The first few swigs were delightful, but halfway through it started tasting nasty and I poured the rest down the kitchen sink.
I have a bottle in front of me right now. It's half empty (half full?) and, once again, I'm about ready to pour it down the drain. This craving is the most unusual thing!

09.01.08

Kalvin is gone. Kristin didn't feel it was right to back out of the agreement she made with the other person just days before she was going to come down and pick him up. I respect that...but it still hurts. I was there this morning when she took him away. It breaks my heart. I have a rotten feeling the girl just wanted to take advantage of getting a really nice horse for free. She told us that if he doesn't work out as a show horse she'll use him for lessons. Kalvin, my dear, sweet Kalvin as a lesson horse...I can't stand it. He's too special to be used for lessons, with kids yanking at his mouth and spurring him with their heels. Ugh...I can't even think about it... I tried to be really strong for Kristin and Linda today -- I didn't cry in front of them. I teared up a bit when I was leading Kalvin down to the trailer but forced myself to stop so that it wouldn't be noticed. I've cried a bunch tonight though. I just hate the thought of Kalvin not being treated with the kindness and love that he deserves. I'm going to miss him so much. Linda told me again tonight that is was so obvious Kalvin liked me and that we had this bond... I'm so sad and I'm so angry I couldn't figure out a way to afford to keep him myself...