09.01.08

Kalvin is gone. Kristin didn't feel it was right to back out of the agreement she made with the other person just days before she was going to come down and pick him up. I respect that...but it still hurts. I was there this morning when she took him away. It breaks my heart. I have a rotten feeling the girl just wanted to take advantage of getting a really nice horse for free. She told us that if he doesn't work out as a show horse she'll use him for lessons. Kalvin, my dear, sweet Kalvin as a lesson horse...I can't stand it. He's too special to be used for lessons, with kids yanking at his mouth and spurring him with their heels. Ugh...I can't even think about it... I tried to be really strong for Kristin and Linda today -- I didn't cry in front of them. I teared up a bit when I was leading Kalvin down to the trailer but forced myself to stop so that it wouldn't be noticed. I've cried a bunch tonight though. I just hate the thought of Kalvin not being treated with the kindness and love that he deserves. I'm going to miss him so much. Linda told me again tonight that is was so obvious Kalvin liked me and that we had this bond... I'm so sad and I'm so angry I couldn't figure out a way to afford to keep him myself...