I knew this was going to happen. It happens every single time I come back from Texas (or any wide-opens space, for that matter). I’m struggling to understand why God created me with these deep desires but hasn’t provided a way to fill them. I feel like the past 10+ years I’ve lived in waiting and aching. I keep thinking that it’s just right around the corner…that if I’m patient for just another year God will open the door to my desires -- He’ll send me to the countryside, bring me romance, call me to share His love through horses and art and music! I’ve kept busy with things in attempt to ignore the waiting and the desire but it’s heavy. It’s scary. What if I'm waiting and aching for something that will never come?
On Saturday I took Titan out for a little ride near Carrie's house. It was drizzling out but the air was warm. I threw a bridle and bareback pad on Titan and rode him down the deserted street. Trees lined the road behind and in front of us and it felt like we were miles and miles away from civilzation, rain fell in soft streaks, cardinals swooped across the road, Titan's steady rythm of hoof beats echoed and when I listened I could hear the fall of rain on the leaves...I was in absolute heaven. When I got back to the house, Charles came out with his fancy camera and took a picture (I was completely and totally HAPPY):
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