08.07.09

I'm moving to Oregon. Yep, you read that right, I’m moving. I haven’t been announcing it from the rooftops just yet because, honestly, I don’t know what it’s going to look like. I’m sort of leaving all the major planning up to God so the details are a bit fuzzy. I bet you’re wondering why Oregon (Bend, Oregon, to be exact) and why now. If you know me, you know there are a million different places I’ve wanted to move and have never had the guts to actually do it. But, it’s different this time…

The story begins with desires. The kind of desires God uniquely places in each of us — desires that fuel our hearts and make us who we are — desires to be parents, or to play sports, or to live in New York City and teach dance classes…desires to join the army or to write a book or to surf or to reach out to the homeless.

I have this fun visual of God creating me. He’s standing in front of a huge mixing bowl, wearing a kiss-the-chef apron and measuring out ingredients: one cup of wide-open spaces, a tablespoon of horses, three dashes of music, 1/4 cup adventure, two teaspoons of art, 2/3 cup of service. Each of us are so fearfully and wonderfully made. I love the desires God created me with! But, up until now, I’ve been frustrated because I had no idea what to do with them. I feel like finally it’s all coming together!

Not too long ago, my Godmother mentioned a horse ranch in Bend that her friends took their daughter to for therapy riding. It reminded her of me not only because of my love for horses but because I was born in Bend (we moved away when I was in kindergarten but I’ve been back to visit a handful of times). It wasn’t until a few weeks later when I felt a pull to find out the name of the ranch and learn more about it. I went online to do some research and my heart exploded like fireworks when I went to the Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch web site. God-centered, horses, wide-open spaces, serving, adventure! For years and years and years I’ve been searching and praying and then suddenly, WHAM, my heart locked in on its purpose. I was created to work on that ranch. God gave me the desires of my heart specifically to serve at Crystal Peaks.

It feels a little silly being so certain of something that seems pretty much impossible. I’m sure there are hundreds of people who want to work on the ranch…why would they choose me to be a part of their ministry? I haven’t even met them or seen the ranch! Where will I live? How will I support myself? How will I move up there? It’s scary but I find such joy in the knowledge that this is all up to God. I’m not going to try to control this or stress over it because He’s got this. He will provide miracles to open doors that seem impossible to open. The minute my faith began to waiver, God gave me a Bible verse: “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” (James 1:6) Recently, I started praying and asking God to give me a specific calling to fulfill the desires in my heart. He answered and gave me Crystal Peaks. My prayer now has been for God to provide a way to get me there. And so, I walk into this with a steady, strong faith that my God has given me these desires for a purpose and He’ll provide a way for them to be. It’s a frightening place to be trusting 100% on Him but it’s also so incredibly exciting!