sky blue background, orange octopus, black ink and possibly a quote in the top right corner...
Friday
05.30.08 p/s
i can't wait to find some quiet time to start on my new idea for the big canvas that's sitting, half painted, in my room.
sky blue background, orange octopus, black ink and possibly a quote in the top right corner...
sky blue background, orange octopus, black ink and possibly a quote in the top right corner...
05.30.08
i want to learn how to draw octopus.
i think i want to paint an orange one on of my blue canvases.
i think i want to paint an orange one on of my blue canvases.
Thursday
05.29.08 p/s
i've been feeling really blue. i'm not sure if it's because of texas or because of 30, although it's probably a bit of both.
wide-open spaces are still fresh in my mind and the reality of being back in the city is numbing. it literally hurts my heart. i ache so badly to be free of the city. i know i don't belong here but i don't know how to leave. i'm scared of doing it alone. i'm scared to leave behind my family, my friends, my job and all that is familiar...but i don't want to spend the next five years harboring this heartache because i'm too scared to do something about it. i'm torn and confused and wishing either my heart would grow steady or I'd find the courage to follow the ache.
turning 30 next week isn't helping. it's forcing me to reflect on my past years and realize how long i've been carrying around this desire - how long i've been heartsick for an escape from the city. every year i tell myself this is the year things will change, and that year melts right into the next and soon enough a whole group of years has come and gone and i'm still longing and hurting and craving for wide-open spaces.
wide-open spaces are still fresh in my mind and the reality of being back in the city is numbing. it literally hurts my heart. i ache so badly to be free of the city. i know i don't belong here but i don't know how to leave. i'm scared of doing it alone. i'm scared to leave behind my family, my friends, my job and all that is familiar...but i don't want to spend the next five years harboring this heartache because i'm too scared to do something about it. i'm torn and confused and wishing either my heart would grow steady or I'd find the courage to follow the ache.
turning 30 next week isn't helping. it's forcing me to reflect on my past years and realize how long i've been carrying around this desire - how long i've been heartsick for an escape from the city. every year i tell myself this is the year things will change, and that year melts right into the next and soon enough a whole group of years has come and gone and i'm still longing and hurting and craving for wide-open spaces.
05.29.08
have a little faith in me by john hiatt = my new favorite song
i keep thinking about how amazing it was to kiss a giraffe and i just have to share the moment:
i keep thinking about how amazing it was to kiss a giraffe and i just have to share the moment:
Wednesday
05.28.08 p/s
i've been melancholy today. i miss how i felt in texas. i miss my friend dearly. i miss being out in the open. i miss being away from all the things i hate about orange county. i miss being around horses. i miss it all.
05.28.08
I'm listning to Grand Ole Party here at work, while sipping black coffee in my new Starbucks Dallas mug, bleary eyed and heartsick for the country.
Thursday
Wednesday
05.21.08
Summer is on it's way!
Here are just a few things I'm looking forward to:
-the smell of bbqs and freshly cut grass
-hot afternoons playing in the ocean
-the sun staying out late into the day
-sunburnt shoulders
-driving with the windows down
-fresh fruit: cherries, watermelon, grapes (frozen too!), pineapple, strawberries
-fresh veggies: squash, zucchini, corn, artichoke
-concerts outdoors
-laughing (people always seem to be in happier moods in summertime)
-flip flops
-fourth-of-july fireworks
-my nieces visiting me at work for lunch
Here are just a few things I'm looking forward to:
-the smell of bbqs and freshly cut grass
-hot afternoons playing in the ocean
-the sun staying out late into the day
-sunburnt shoulders
-driving with the windows down
-fresh fruit: cherries, watermelon, grapes (frozen too!), pineapple, strawberries
-fresh veggies: squash, zucchini, corn, artichoke
-concerts outdoors
-laughing (people always seem to be in happier moods in summertime)
-flip flops
-fourth-of-july fireworks
-my nieces visiting me at work for lunch
Tuesday
05.20.08
i worked through lunch today but in the middle of it i suddenly had the strongest urge to draw. it came on so quickly and out of nowhere. so, i stopped working and sketched an elk.
it felt amazing!
it's like something builds up in me. if i go awhile without drawing i'll eventually get this intense, sudden desire to draw. i'll have to do it that very instant or i'll get anxious and distracted by thoughts of pen and paper. the elk took literally minutes, it just poured out, and afterwards i felt a great sense of peace. it's so bizarre.
it felt amazing!
it's like something builds up in me. if i go awhile without drawing i'll eventually get this intense, sudden desire to draw. i'll have to do it that very instant or i'll get anxious and distracted by thoughts of pen and paper. the elk took literally minutes, it just poured out, and afterwards i felt a great sense of peace. it's so bizarre.
Sunday
05.18.08
things i've wanted to be "when i grow up", starting from as far back as i can remember:
-farmer
-jockey
-vet
-author
-horse trainer
-artist
-child psychologist
-photographer
-graphic designer
-helicopter pilot
-makeup artist
-band manager
-web designer
-event planner
-art teacher
-owner of a non-profit
-farmer
-jockey
-vet
-author
-horse trainer
-artist
-child psychologist
-photographer
-graphic designer
-helicopter pilot
-makeup artist
-band manager
-web designer
-event planner
-art teacher
-owner of a non-profit
Thursday
Monday
05.12.08
being sick sucks...but laying in bed all day watching sex and the city dvds with purring cats on my feet make it a little better.
Friday
05.09.08
i felt compelled to read 1 Corinthians 13 last night, in honor of my revelation yesterday. I've read it many times before, but the beginning really struck me on a different chord this time. It hit home a lot harder than it usually does.
Above all else, I must love.
"If I could speak all languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing." - 1 Cor. 13:1-3
Above all else, I must love.
"If I could speak all languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing." - 1 Cor. 13:1-3
Thursday
05.08.08
i had a humbling experience this afternoon. it opened my eyes to how judgmental i can be...and also how damaging my assumptions are.
i realized today that i don't love people nearly as much as i should and i'm deeply disappointed in myself.
i had a wonderful talk with one of my bosses this afternoon -- someone i respect and trust. she told me she was the one who wanted me to stop drawing in meetings, not D. she was looking out for my best interest. oh man, did that hurt. it hurts because i've been harboring awful feelings towards D, who was completely innocent in the whole thing. it hurts because i've been carrying around assumptions and judging him. how wicked and awful of me!
i feel i owe D a mighty apology...even if he has no idea how i've been feeling towards him. i want to start fresh -- not just with him, but with anyone and everyone i've harbored ill feelings towards. my job as a follower of Christ is to love and i've been doing a pretty crummy job of it lately.
i realized today that i don't love people nearly as much as i should and i'm deeply disappointed in myself.
i had a wonderful talk with one of my bosses this afternoon -- someone i respect and trust. she told me she was the one who wanted me to stop drawing in meetings, not D. she was looking out for my best interest. oh man, did that hurt. it hurts because i've been harboring awful feelings towards D, who was completely innocent in the whole thing. it hurts because i've been carrying around assumptions and judging him. how wicked and awful of me!
i feel i owe D a mighty apology...even if he has no idea how i've been feeling towards him. i want to start fresh -- not just with him, but with anyone and everyone i've harbored ill feelings towards. my job as a follower of Christ is to love and i've been doing a pretty crummy job of it lately.
Wednesday
Monday
05.05.08 p/s
I sent this link to a few people at work who love to embarrass their cats: www.wikihow.com/Crochet-a-Cat-Hat
this morning, barbara came by my cube with a hat she made by following the directions. (i won't even get started on how awesome she is for making one)
my mission? to put it on my cats tonight and take pictures.
barbara, this is for you!
this morning, barbara came by my cube with a hat she made by following the directions. (i won't even get started on how awesome she is for making one)
my mission? to put it on my cats tonight and take pictures.
barbara, this is for you!
05.05.08
lori came over yesterday and helped me rearrange my apartment. it's so cute now -- so cute, in fact, that i'm actually looking forward to inviting people over. this is a pretty big deal considering i don't open my home to many. dinner party, anyone?
no more minivan for me -- i got my car back from the shop today. i didn't realize how attached i was to it until it was taken away from me for 8 days. driving home was so much fun -- zooming around close to the ground in my little go cart.
it just hit 100,000 miles and it's still kicking strong. vroom vroom!
no more minivan for me -- i got my car back from the shop today. i didn't realize how attached i was to it until it was taken away from me for 8 days. driving home was so much fun -- zooming around close to the ground in my little go cart.
it just hit 100,000 miles and it's still kicking strong. vroom vroom!
Sunday
Friday
05.02.08
I've been told by my dear friend Lori that I am officially not in the hermit category any longer.
Sometimes I miss being a hermit and my guitar/books/bed call to me.
Then I think of all the fabulous adventures I've been on lately, all the special friendships I've made and how exciting it is getting out there and LIVING life -- my guitar/books/bed will always be here but this day won't ever come again.
I'm tired and feel the urge to curl up in my bed and read, but it's my sister's birthday dinner tonight and I wouldn't miss it for all the hermity things in the world. :)
Sometimes I miss being a hermit and my guitar/books/bed call to me.
Then I think of all the fabulous adventures I've been on lately, all the special friendships I've made and how exciting it is getting out there and LIVING life -- my guitar/books/bed will always be here but this day won't ever come again.
I'm tired and feel the urge to curl up in my bed and read, but it's my sister's birthday dinner tonight and I wouldn't miss it for all the hermity things in the world. :)
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