11.26.08

Price stickers. I hate them. I hate them more than splinters or traffic or techno music. I'm trying to peel one off a pen I bought yesterday and it's coming off in thin, little sections and leaving a sticky film behind. The world would be a better place without annoying price stickers that won't unstick!

11.25.08

As promised, here's video of Junebug and me playing. She was having so much fun I had to climb over the fence to get away -- she's little but she's strong!

11.24.08

I smashed my fingers pretty badly in the garage door this morning. A few are still throbbing, even after soaking them in ice water and taking Advil. So, as much as I want to share about my Texas trip, it's just going to have to wait until it doesn't hurt so much to type. Until then, here are a few of my favorite pictures (mostly of Norman, of course):

Feeding Norman mints:


Riding Norman (well, attempting to ride because he isn't trained):


Norman and Mo in the background:


Loving on JuneBug, the baby cow I got to play with (video coming soon):


Another one of JuneBug, so you can appreciate her cuteness:

11.21.08

Hello from Texas! I'm already having so much fun. Before I left I saw my Mom and she told me, "Have fun in Texas...but don't have too much fun. Come back!" She knew what she was talking about. Each time I visit Carrie I want so much to stay in Texas. I could afford my own house out here...with land for horses! There's wide-open spaces, huge skies, four seasons...not to mention my best friend. I feel a weight lift from me when I'm out of OC. It's calmer here...more real.

Last night I went with Carrie while she fed the horses dinner. HOLY COW is Norman huge! It was pitch black and the other two horses had already come up...but no Norman (apparently he has quite an independent streak). After a few minutes of calling I heard a thundering of hooves (and, it's truly a thundering considering his hooves are the size of big plates) and then Norman came charging up to his stall. He's massive, absolutely huggable, goofy and I couln't help but laugh when I saw him. He's two and a half years old and the size of a small elephant. I kept telling Carrie that she has her own pet dinosaur. Carrie took a few pictures of me feeding him tiny little mints. Norman hasn't quite figured out how to gently pick up treats and instead enveloped my entire hand with his huge horse lips. It was so funny!

...Carrie should be waking up in a few minutes and we'll get the horses ready for the vet. Yes, the vet. They are getting vaccinations and I get to help hold them down. I've been told Norman is an absolute lunatic when it comes to needles. This morning should be interesting!

11.20.08

I'm flying to Texas today! I've been pretty excited for the past couple weeks about the big trip. I honestly don't think I laugh harder then when I'm spending time with Carrie...and I'm so excited to see how her baby belly has grown! Plus, there's always some fun little adventure or another that happens during my Texas trips. Last May, it was petting a leamur at the rodeo (his name was Lance) and driving through Fossil Rim to feed giraffe, zebra, deer, ostrich and other animals I would have never imagined getting so close to. Another year we went to Athens to see the world's largest blue catfish, Splash. We've also wandered the streets of Austin, visited the deserted remains of Starship Pegasus, eaten at Nobu...not to mention a bunch of other random, way-too-fun stuff.

This weekend, I know we at least have Twilight planned, dinner at this super-yummy steak house on Friday, a baby shower on Saturday (I still can't believe Carrie and Charles are having a baby soon!) and hopefully a night in watching Napoleon Dynamite and eating homemade apple-bran muffins.

11.19.08

To all my friends out there...don't let me cut my hair!

I've been wanting to grow it long for a while now but every time it gets to this annoying mid-length I get impatient and end up chopping it short. Then I wallow in mild regret and end up spending the next six months or so trying to grow it out...only to end up chopping it once again out of impatience. I need to break the cycle.

I miss my long hair.

11.18.08 P.S.

I was on the phone with AT&T for a half hour and finally hung up. I hate AT&T. ...still no internet service at home. They can't come out until Wednesday to hook up DSL to my phone line. blah.

11.18.08

I've been going to Calvary steadily for a couple of months, and even though I now consider it my home church I'm not involved. I'll go to Sunday service and attend an occasional Wednesday night lecture, but I've been feeling a tug lately to dive into the heart of what Calvary is doing. To serve. To volunteer. To be holding an oar and paddling instead of sitting along for the ride. To seek out fellowship and become an impactful part of the living, breathing community of the church.

A month or so back, I went to observe children's ministry on Wednesday night in hopes that I'd feel a calling to help out. I won't get into details, but by the end of the night I knew it wasn't where I was meant to be. Then I remembered hearing that sometimes we're meant to serve where we had once struggled...because we have an easier time understanding and relating. My testimony is more age appropriate for high school and college students. Those were the years when I was struggling. Those were the years I was wandering in a haze of depression and self destruction. Those were the years I pushed God away, my heart so hard and unwilling to accept the fact that I was loved. Maybe, just maybe, those bad times can be used for good -- I can use those experiences to shed light and love on kids who are going through the same struggles I once was. Maybe I can help them because I'll understand them. Maybe...

So, I filled out a card requesting more information on serving in high-school ministries and just yesterday I received an e-mail from the high-school pastor of my church. In the next week or so I'm going to visit and see what it's all about. Deep down, I'm feeling this tug to serve...but I'm also feeling very, very intimidated. I'm scared. I'm scared of stepping out of my little, safe bubble. I'm scared of committing (serving in high-school ministry requires at least a one-year commitment -- serving Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings). I'm scared that the kids will think I'm uncool, lame and uninteresting. I'm scared my anxiety will build and I'll have a panic attack if I have to stand up and introduce myself in front of them. I'm scared I won't have anything of value to give. I'm scared I'll be rejected. This fear though...this fear is the extra push I need to dive into this....because I know fear is not of God. I know that when I feel this fear start to well up inside me, that it's trying to keep me from doing something God has created me to do. Satan has used fear for so long to keep me suppressed...to keep me from stepping out in faith and reaching the potential God has for me. He's used fear too long to keep me pushed down. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of letting it rule me. I'm at my breaking point...I'm ready to step out and push the fear aside.

11.13.08 P.S.

This is Joey.

11.13.08

I want a pet squirrel...and an elk and an otter and a big-eyed cow...plus a miniature horse, a giraffe, a baby camel, a skunk (de-scented, of course), an anteater, a praying mantis, an Australian cattle dog, a tarsier, a meerkat, a llama, a kangaroo rat, a zebra and a herd of horses in all different breeds.

11.12.08

Linda brought me a dragonfly "engineer kit" from Chick-fil-A. It had less pieces than the praying mantis kit but it was a lot harder to put together...

11.11.08

Today I wrote a pretty heavy e-mail to my bio dad who's been non-existent for the majority of my life and recently showed up again. It was difficult to write and brought up a lot of hurt -- but the good part is that it reminded me of how important my Heavenly Father is. I can trust Him with my heart and He'll never let it go, even for a second. His love is all I need. Today I really leaned into that truth and felt the real impact of it. He will never desert me and He will always love me. I find such incredible peace in that.

11.10.08 p.s.

It's so much fun having Christie work at Ingram. Today, she drew her very first monster...and it was on MY whiteboard. How special is that?! She made my day!

Christie and her monster:

11.10.08

I was out at the barn by 7:00 on Saturday morning. (I never would have imagined the day would come, but I'm starting to become a morning person! There's something so special about being up and about, enjoying the day while most everyone else is still in bed. It's so quiet and peaceful.) Kalvin was wound up pretty tight and it took some effort to ride the trail out to Sully Miller arena. A handful of times he'd spin and try to head back home. When we got to Sully, he was jigging and fighting for the reins...riding him was work! We ended up doing a LOT of trotting in the round pen until he finally started to cool down a bit. By the time we headed home he was sweaty, but finally nice and relaxed. We ended the morning with a bath...soap and all! I just love putting him back into his stall, with fresh shavings and a flake of alfalfa waiting for him, when he's sparkling clean. It makes me feel like in that very minute all is well in the world.

Turned out in the arena, waiting for me to bring him up to the barn and get ready for our morning ride:


I'm so in love with him!


Showing me what he thinks about his bath:

11.07.08 p.s.

My friend Christie loves bulldogs. I'm trying to learn how to draw them for her but so far they've turned out to be quite a challenge.

Bulldogs are hard to draw:

11.07.08

Hooray for Friday! I think tonight I'm going to take it easy...maybe wander the mall in search of new work clothes and then curl up on my couch with Wuthering Heights. Sara is coming up tomorrow to check out the new house. She doesn't know it yet, but I'm volunteering her and her truck to help me move over a kitchen table and chairs from my Mom's house. I'll pay her back with Yogurtland, of course. Oh, and I'll be waking up extra early tomorrow to get in a trail ride with Kalvin before Sara gets here. It's going to be a good day!

Petunia:

11.06.08

I just got a phone call from my Mom. She spent the better half of her day scrubbing my kithen floor with ammonia...and then going over it with a steam mop.

Seriously...I have the best Mom in the world (and I'm one spoiled-rotten brat).

11.05.08 p.s.

I don't like coloring with markers.

11.04.08

Zimbabwe is on my mind this morning. Check out this article on cnn.com.

...Zimbabwe's currency continues to lose value as inflation gallops ahead. The official rate of inflation is 230 million percent, the world's highest, but independent analysts put the figure in billions.

...Meanwhile, the fight against a cholera outbreak in the capital city, Harare, seems to be faltering as more deaths are reported. Official statistics say 10 people have died since last week, but doctors say the disease has killed more than 30. The country is battling to raise foreign currency to import medicine.

I'm also thinking a lot about my friend Regina who's on Zimbabwe soil right now, bleeding out her heart for the people and the country. Please pray for her, the work she's doing and for the people her life touches. There is so much prayer needed.

11.04.08

I voted today...

...hopefully you did too!

11.03.08

I'm not nearly settled in, but it's getting there!

Living room (I'll be bringing over my beloved, antique piano sometime in the next couple of weeks):


Bedroom (I'll be hanging pictures and curtains, getting a comforter and hanging my old chandelier in the corner above the desk):


This week I need to do another scrubbing on the kitchen floor and move over the kitchen table/chairs, start working on the back room/studio, clean the windows inside and out, buy fabric for curtains, work on decorating the bathroom, and sign up for internet service...