Wednesday
Tuesday
02.24.09
This is what's constantly going through my head as I'm riding, in no particular order:
-hold the reins like you're holding a baby bird
-keep your fingers closed
-wiggle your fingers to get his head down
-bend him the the outside and bend him to the inside if wiggling fingers doesn't work
-keep your legs on him
-sit up tall like the queen
-tilt pelvic slightly forward
-shoulders back
-keep him on the rail
-use outside rein as a brake
-toes pointed forward
-look five steps ahead
-don't look down
-half halt when he speeds up (tighten butt and squeeze hands at same time)
-don't bend wrists
-don't cut corners
-keep the rhythm
Honestly...ALL of that is spinning in my head at once, not to mention the instructions Linda gives me, like, "Trot a 20-meter circle at center line. No, that's a 15-meter circle!" or "He's strung out. He looks strung out. Bend him. Not turn him, bend him." Ahhh...but with all the insanity, I LOVE riding and I love how Linda teaches me. She's an amazing instructor and the three of us make a really good team!
P.S. I wish I had eyes on my toes. That way, I would see where my feet are going and not stub my toes. I stubbed my big toe tonight and it HURTS. I think it might be bleeding but I refuse to take off my sock and look.
-hold the reins like you're holding a baby bird
-keep your fingers closed
-wiggle your fingers to get his head down
-bend him the the outside and bend him to the inside if wiggling fingers doesn't work
-keep your legs on him
-sit up tall like the queen
-tilt pelvic slightly forward
-shoulders back
-keep him on the rail
-use outside rein as a brake
-toes pointed forward
-look five steps ahead
-don't look down
-half halt when he speeds up (tighten butt and squeeze hands at same time)
-don't bend wrists
-don't cut corners
-keep the rhythm
Honestly...ALL of that is spinning in my head at once, not to mention the instructions Linda gives me, like, "Trot a 20-meter circle at center line. No, that's a 15-meter circle!" or "He's strung out. He looks strung out. Bend him. Not turn him, bend him." Ahhh...but with all the insanity, I LOVE riding and I love how Linda teaches me. She's an amazing instructor and the three of us make a really good team!
P.S. I wish I had eyes on my toes. That way, I would see where my feet are going and not stub my toes. I stubbed my big toe tonight and it HURTS. I think it might be bleeding but I refuse to take off my sock and look.
Monday
02.24.09
A friend from work asked me what my best day out on a horse was. This is it:
It was one of the last days my friend Carrie was here before she moved to Texas. We've known each other since 6th grade and both were (and still are) obsessed with horses. We rode bareback in the hills of Elfin Forest and took the horses into a gallop. I remember gripping the mane...and feeling the rush of speed and power...and running under a canopy of oak tree branches that were spilling in gold bits of sunlight...and seeing Carrie and her horse in front of me, twisting around the bend......and feeling so small but so wild.
That's a memory I'll always hold on to.
It was one of the last days my friend Carrie was here before she moved to Texas. We've known each other since 6th grade and both were (and still are) obsessed with horses. We rode bareback in the hills of Elfin Forest and took the horses into a gallop. I remember gripping the mane...and feeling the rush of speed and power...and running under a canopy of oak tree branches that were spilling in gold bits of sunlight...and seeing Carrie and her horse in front of me, twisting around the bend......and feeling so small but so wild.
That's a memory I'll always hold on to.
Saturday
02.21.09
I'm getting baptized today. I want to share my testimony before I leave...
We all carry a hole in our hearts that only God can fill. I grew up knowing who God was but didn't know Him personally. I remember feeling that hollow place sitting inside me. I tried to fill it with alcohol and boys, but no matter how much I poured into it I was always left feeling empty. I remember feeling there was something more to life but I couldn't grasp it. I carried around me a restlessness that I couldn't contain. There was an adventure waiting for me and a love I was desperate for, I just didn't know where to find it.
It was Nick who brought me to the Lord. I met Nick at work. He wasn't shy about sharing his faith and my curiosity for God was sparked. He took me under his wing and began inviting me to church and answering the questions I had. God was working in my heart and in June, 2005, I proclaimed my faith. With tears in my eyes, Nick prayed over me as I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. At that very moment, the empty place was finally filled.
My life is rich now. It's full. There’s no empty place to fill with alcohol or boys. I no longer carry around a deep, hurting desire for love. I know I’m loved. I’m loved by the mighty God who created the Heavens and the earth. I’m loved by the God who, for all the years I pushed Him away, never stopped loving me. I’m loved by the God who has given me life to the fullest…life without holes.
We all carry a hole in our hearts that only God can fill. I grew up knowing who God was but didn't know Him personally. I remember feeling that hollow place sitting inside me. I tried to fill it with alcohol and boys, but no matter how much I poured into it I was always left feeling empty. I remember feeling there was something more to life but I couldn't grasp it. I carried around me a restlessness that I couldn't contain. There was an adventure waiting for me and a love I was desperate for, I just didn't know where to find it.
It was Nick who brought me to the Lord. I met Nick at work. He wasn't shy about sharing his faith and my curiosity for God was sparked. He took me under his wing and began inviting me to church and answering the questions I had. God was working in my heart and in June, 2005, I proclaimed my faith. With tears in my eyes, Nick prayed over me as I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. At that very moment, the empty place was finally filled.
My life is rich now. It's full. There’s no empty place to fill with alcohol or boys. I no longer carry around a deep, hurting desire for love. I know I’m loved. I’m loved by the mighty God who created the Heavens and the earth. I’m loved by the God who, for all the years I pushed Him away, never stopped loving me. I’m loved by the God who has given me life to the fullest…life without holes.
Friday
02.13.09
My iMac is giving me trouble and I'm thinking of getting a MacBook to replace it.
I'm on day six without caffeine. I had an awful craving this morning but am proud to say I didn't give in.
I'm tired of walking Kalvin on the street in the rain and can't wait to start riding again (when the rain stops and the arena dries up). It's been over a week now!
I love that I'm growing even closer to the Refuge girls. I feel honored to be in their lives.
My uncle just came by to tell me that he's planning a family vacation for next November in Maui (and that I need to start saving money). I've never been to Hawaii before.
I am really excited that I'll be getting baptized next Saturday...and a little scared at how freezing the ocean water is going to be!
I wish my stomach didn't hurt every time I ate something.
I'm anxious for my piano to be moved over.
Charles e-mailed a picture he took of Norman and I have to share. Do you see why I love Normie so much?!
I'm on day six without caffeine. I had an awful craving this morning but am proud to say I didn't give in.
I'm tired of walking Kalvin on the street in the rain and can't wait to start riding again (when the rain stops and the arena dries up). It's been over a week now!
I love that I'm growing even closer to the Refuge girls. I feel honored to be in their lives.
My uncle just came by to tell me that he's planning a family vacation for next November in Maui (and that I need to start saving money). I've never been to Hawaii before.
I am really excited that I'll be getting baptized next Saturday...and a little scared at how freezing the ocean water is going to be!
I wish my stomach didn't hurt every time I ate something.
I'm anxious for my piano to be moved over.
Charles e-mailed a picture he took of Norman and I have to share. Do you see why I love Normie so much?!
Monday
02.09.09
I walked out of my painting class tonight. I got there early and sat behind an easel and stared at a few examples leaned up against the chalk board. Instead of getting excited, I grew more and more uninspired as each minute ticked closer to the beginning of class. I don't want to create another grey scale of a sphere and a cone. I don't want to create another still life of plastic fruit in a bowl. I don't want to create another version of draped cloth or cheapen up another masterpiece by attempting to copy a Van Gogh. I felt my inspiration turning to dust and right before the class was about to start I picked up my belongings, slung my purse over my shoulder, focused my eyes on the door and walk straight out of class. It was one of those few occasions I didn't care that all eyes were on me. I walked out in front of the students and in front of the teacher and didn't look back. I just couldn't do it.
When I got home, I parked and sat in my car in the dark and cried and cried. I don't understand it, but something fierce is going on inside me. Most of my life I've felt that I see things strangely. I see things that so many people over look...and those little things are so beautiful to me I feel overwhelmed. I can see God all around me in everything. I saw Him tonight in the grey clouds lined with the pink touch of sunset. I saw Him in the twisting branches of trees along the side of the road. I saw Him in the rain that fell and reflected in the stream of light from the parking lot lamp. I saw Him in the mud puddle in my front yard that shone like glass. And the thing is, I've taken in all His beauty for so long and I'm filled to the brim with it and it's aching and screaming to get out but I don't know how to release it! I don't know what to paint. I don't know what to sing. I don't know how to free all of His beauty that's inside me. And if I don't let it out soon I think I might just go mad. It's not meant to be kept locked away, it's meant to spill out in brilliant colors and sounds. I just can't find the key.
When I got home, I parked and sat in my car in the dark and cried and cried. I don't understand it, but something fierce is going on inside me. Most of my life I've felt that I see things strangely. I see things that so many people over look...and those little things are so beautiful to me I feel overwhelmed. I can see God all around me in everything. I saw Him tonight in the grey clouds lined with the pink touch of sunset. I saw Him in the twisting branches of trees along the side of the road. I saw Him in the rain that fell and reflected in the stream of light from the parking lot lamp. I saw Him in the mud puddle in my front yard that shone like glass. And the thing is, I've taken in all His beauty for so long and I'm filled to the brim with it and it's aching and screaming to get out but I don't know how to release it! I don't know what to paint. I don't know what to sing. I don't know how to free all of His beauty that's inside me. And if I don't let it out soon I think I might just go mad. It's not meant to be kept locked away, it's meant to spill out in brilliant colors and sounds. I just can't find the key.
Friday
02.06.09
I love how the sky is familiar but incredibly different each and every day. Pretty cool, if you ask me.
The sky during lunch, from the parking lot at work:
The sky during lunch, from the parking lot at work:
Thursday
02.05.09
I'm getting old. The reality of it hit me today. I was washing my hands and glanced up at the mirror and was taken aback at the amount of wrinkles framing my eyes. Not just a couple wrinkles, but a lot of wrinkles! When did they get there?! I tried to make myself feel better by telling myself they're there because of all the years I've been smiling...and how can something caused by a smile be bad? But then I made the mistake of smiling at myself in the mirror. Those wrinkles burst into a maddening display of deeper, stronger wrinkles that stretched to my temples and over the tops of my cheeks. Of course, I immediately stopped smiling. The reality sunk in...I'm getting old. I'm getting wrinkles that won't go away but will multiply! Oh dear.
I'm buying wrinkle cream tonight.
I'm buying wrinkle cream tonight.
Wednesday
02.04.09
Last night, I heard Griffin gnawing on something from the corner of my room but I was so tired all I could do was yell out his name every now and then to get his attention so he'd stop making smacking, chewing noises. (yes, I'm a light sleeper and can hear everything) I woke up this morning and had completely forgotten about the obnoxious chewing noises until I noticed a red, egg-shaped thing in the corner of my room. At first, I thought it was a plastic Easter egg with hundreds of little cat-teeth marks chewed into it (which got me wondering, WHERE did that come from?). It wasn't until I got closer when I realized it was a Roma tomato. Yes, a tomato. The tomato that had been in my lunch bag on my kitchen counter. Griffin not only had to rummage through the lunch bag to find the tomato, but then carried it into my room and started eating it. This is just one example of how bizarre my cats are. I mean, a tomato?!!
Sunday
02.01.09 P.S.
I just got back from a riding lesson with Linda. She makes me work and I'm tired, a little sun soaked and smelling of horse (all of which are fabulous, by the way). After the lesson, Linda told me that she literally had chills at some points watching me and Kalvin. She said that I was made for this...that I'm a natural and that she can tell Kalvin really likes me. I have to share because a compliment from Linda really means something...she doesn't hand them out freely. She was so proud and excited that she was telling other people at the barn how well I did (kind of embarrassing but pretty cool at the same time). I'm on cloud nine right now. So, the goal is to get me ready for some shows. I need to start getting strict about my riding. I need to be out at the barn at least five times a week, if not six. I also need to start doing my pilates DVDs again to get some core strength and I need to start watching what I eat. I'm really going to be picking it up a notch! Riding is a sport and the fitter I am, the easier it's going to be to learn more and more. I am so excited to be taking this seriously and learning as much as I can. It's such an awesome feeling to be doing something that makes my heart so happy.
02.01.09
I spent most of yesterday at Equine Affaire in Pomona with Linda and Liz. Horse, horses, horses! It's a huge horse convention with booths and seminars and horses everywhere. It was wonderful. My favorite part was the Friesians. They're my favorite horse but I've never been able to get up close to one until yesterday. Now I want one even more!
I just got home from spending some time with High School Ministry (still trying to figure out if this is where God's calling me) and I'm about ready to run up to the barn to go riding. Linda and Liz are going to give me a lesson on Kalvin to learn some dressage, which is pretty awesome. I also have a lesson set up with Anna for next Saturday. Liz told me that I can borrow her jumping saddle so I can start learning to jump. I am so excited how God has brought horses back into my life and how I've been learning so much. It's incredible! I wonder if He has plans for me to use horses in my ministry somehow. I hope so!
I want to buy An Awesome Book by Dallas Clayton.
I just got home from spending some time with High School Ministry (still trying to figure out if this is where God's calling me) and I'm about ready to run up to the barn to go riding. Linda and Liz are going to give me a lesson on Kalvin to learn some dressage, which is pretty awesome. I also have a lesson set up with Anna for next Saturday. Liz told me that I can borrow her jumping saddle so I can start learning to jump. I am so excited how God has brought horses back into my life and how I've been learning so much. It's incredible! I wonder if He has plans for me to use horses in my ministry somehow. I hope so!
I want to buy An Awesome Book by Dallas Clayton.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
