Saturday
Friday
Thursday
06.26.08
My wonderful Lori sent me the devotional she was reading tonight. I plan on printing it out and keeping it in my car, my cubicle and my home. Patience. I must learn patience. It's something I've always had trouble with and now I see how very important it is. Thank you Lorz:
The Work of Patience
Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry"
Any time you become frustrated and start trying to make things happen on your own, it is a sure sign you are not being patient with God. You need to practice waiting on God and let Him do what He wants to do, in His way and time. The best definition of patience I have ever heard is "to be constant or to be the same all the time, no matter what is going on". Patience is not merely waiting, it is how you act while you are waiting. The hardest thing most of us will ever have to do as Christians is wait on the Lord. You will undoubtedly have to wait on many things during your lifetime. Waiting is not optional. But it is during the waiting periods of life that the most powerful things will happen within you...
The Work of Patience
Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry"
Any time you become frustrated and start trying to make things happen on your own, it is a sure sign you are not being patient with God. You need to practice waiting on God and let Him do what He wants to do, in His way and time. The best definition of patience I have ever heard is "to be constant or to be the same all the time, no matter what is going on". Patience is not merely waiting, it is how you act while you are waiting. The hardest thing most of us will ever have to do as Christians is wait on the Lord. You will undoubtedly have to wait on many things during your lifetime. Waiting is not optional. But it is during the waiting periods of life that the most powerful things will happen within you...
Wednesday
06.25.08 p.s.
Ara Batur by Sigur Ros is chilling to the soul it's so beautiful.
It's been on repeat on my ipod for the past hour at least...
Listen to the full song with your eyes closed. What do you see?
It's been on repeat on my ipod for the past hour at least...
Listen to the full song with your eyes closed. What do you see?
06.25.08
I love my friend Carrie. Not only is she one of my dearest of all friends, but she's the one who helps me stay grounded when I let my emotions start carrying me away. I'm already feeling better!
So, here are my plans:
Dressage lessons to quench my horse fix and to be learning more
Art class to spur my creativity back into action
Church small group for local fellowship and serving opportunities
I feel like I can breathe again!
So, here are my plans:
Dressage lessons to quench my horse fix and to be learning more
Art class to spur my creativity back into action
Church small group for local fellowship and serving opportunities
I feel like I can breathe again!
Monday
06.23.08
i'm an axious person. i think i always have been. it can be so crippling when i let it take me over. my dear friend regina commented on my last blog post and gave me an amazing Bible verse. i've read it before a number of times, but this time it spoke to me in a strong way:
Rejoice, in the Lord always. I will say it again rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:4-7
i need to work on being thankful, truly thankful, for the life God has given me. i have to keep my eyes focused on Him, let go of this anxiety and trust that He has it all taken care of. it's hard to let go of things and hand them over when i want so badly to take hold of it and control my situation -- control where i live and where i work and who comes and goes in my life. i can pray and ask God for things but in the end if my prayers aren't answered, if what I want isn't in His plan, then i need to let it go and trust that whatever He has planned for my life is better than anything i could ever want.
Rejoice, in the Lord always. I will say it again rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:4-7
i need to work on being thankful, truly thankful, for the life God has given me. i have to keep my eyes focused on Him, let go of this anxiety and trust that He has it all taken care of. it's hard to let go of things and hand them over when i want so badly to take hold of it and control my situation -- control where i live and where i work and who comes and goes in my life. i can pray and ask God for things but in the end if my prayers aren't answered, if what I want isn't in His plan, then i need to let it go and trust that whatever He has planned for my life is better than anything i could ever want.
Sunday
06.22.08
it's been record-breaking heat this weekend. i'm actually looking forward to work tomorrow just to enjoy the air conditioning. the last two days in my little place have been pretty uncomfortable. i feel like i have a fever in me. i've taken a handful of cold showers just to get my body temperature down, but the water in the pipes never got cold enough to cool me down. i keep thinking about people in other parts of the world who live in this kind of heat all the time and aren't able to run to the mall or a movie theater to enjoy air conditioning. at least i have a freezer for frozen grapes and ice water!
i bought a friend today. i'm still waiting for him to tell me what his name is, although i'm thinking it might be Ezekiel...
i bought a friend today. i'm still waiting for him to tell me what his name is, although i'm thinking it might be Ezekiel...
Friday
06.20.08
i still have horses on the brain. i sketched one this morning at work. it was in my head and i had to get it out.
Thursday
06.19.08
i can't sleep. it's been like this for the last week or so, at least. there's this constant current of nervous energy just buzzing through me. i hate it. my mind won't stop fretting and thinking and daydreaming and wondering and worrying and planning and guessing and...ugh...i wish it would just slow down! i can't stop planning my escape from the dullness and the white noise of this place. i'm weary of fighting this urge to get up and move. i'm sick of wrestling with idea after idea of where i'm supposed to be (because it isn't here) and never finding an answer. life is good...no, it's great...and i have no reason at all (at all!) to complain and be discontent...but deep down in the very core of it all i know i'm being pulled elsewhere. the problem is i just don't know where, exactly.
i long to be out of this place -- this suffocating, lost, superficial, dirty city. there's a film over everything here. it's hard to explain...things are diluted...God is watered down by all this hustle and bustle, cement and traffic, money and skyscrapers. but out in wide open spaces i'm constantly reminded of God. i see Him in everything...the sky, the wind, the grass, the earth, the trees, the animals, the colors, the textures, the sounds...He created it all. He didn't create cities. He didn't create fancy, designer clothes. He didn't create the corporate ladder, Mercedes or Starbucks...
maybe it all comes down to what john eldredge says in desire. i'm not of this world. God did not create me to call this world home so naturally i'll feel homesick for the place i was created to be. He created me to live for eternity in Heaven with Him. ...and so the closest i feel to home is when i'm out in nature, surrounded by and in awe of all the beauty God created.
i long to be out of this place -- this suffocating, lost, superficial, dirty city. there's a film over everything here. it's hard to explain...things are diluted...God is watered down by all this hustle and bustle, cement and traffic, money and skyscrapers. but out in wide open spaces i'm constantly reminded of God. i see Him in everything...the sky, the wind, the grass, the earth, the trees, the animals, the colors, the textures, the sounds...He created it all. He didn't create cities. He didn't create fancy, designer clothes. He didn't create the corporate ladder, Mercedes or Starbucks...
maybe it all comes down to what john eldredge says in desire. i'm not of this world. God did not create me to call this world home so naturally i'll feel homesick for the place i was created to be. He created me to live for eternity in Heaven with Him. ...and so the closest i feel to home is when i'm out in nature, surrounded by and in awe of all the beauty God created.
Wednesday
06.18.08
i'm more flighty and anxious than usual. my mind is stir crazy. i feel like a caged bird fluttering and smashing against bars. i seriously might be going insane.
my mom is in pismo beach with my sister and her family for a little get away. she called last night to tell me how they saw three girls riding their horses on the beach. it threw my mind into a flurry. for the majority of today i was plagued with thoughts of how i could get that sort of life.
i'm trying to rein in all this anxiety. i can never create when my mind is at ease so i might as well take advantage of being insane and try to get back into drawing. tonight was frantic pen sketches of horses and elk. here's one of the horse heads:
my mom is in pismo beach with my sister and her family for a little get away. she called last night to tell me how they saw three girls riding their horses on the beach. it threw my mind into a flurry. for the majority of today i was plagued with thoughts of how i could get that sort of life.
i'm trying to rein in all this anxiety. i can never create when my mind is at ease so i might as well take advantage of being insane and try to get back into drawing. tonight was frantic pen sketches of horses and elk. here's one of the horse heads:
Tuesday
Monday
06.16.08 p.s.
my friend sent a guy my way she met on myspace. she told him to send me a message because not only is he a musician, but a Christian. she thought we might hit it off. we sent a few, brief messages back and forth but i was quickly turned off after i discovered he smokes weed and gets drunk.
i am so passionate about God -- so blown away at how much He loves me and how deeply He's changed my life -- and it makes me sad when people say they are followers of Christ but aren't really following. if a person truly believes in something, he'll live it out the best he can.
being a Christian isn't easy. in our society it isn't glamorous or cool. i get made fun of and i sacrifice things that are hard to give up. a lot of times i'm considered a square or some kind of freak. but i love God with all my heart and soul and i'm proud of Him -- and refuse to back down or stop talking about Him or following Him because people think i'm weird.
i want to be with a man who loves God so much that he'll stand up for the Lord regardless if it's considered uncool. there's something so inviting and strong and sexy about a man who has fallen in love with God and builds his life around the Lord.
i am so passionate about God -- so blown away at how much He loves me and how deeply He's changed my life -- and it makes me sad when people say they are followers of Christ but aren't really following. if a person truly believes in something, he'll live it out the best he can.
being a Christian isn't easy. in our society it isn't glamorous or cool. i get made fun of and i sacrifice things that are hard to give up. a lot of times i'm considered a square or some kind of freak. but i love God with all my heart and soul and i'm proud of Him -- and refuse to back down or stop talking about Him or following Him because people think i'm weird.
i want to be with a man who loves God so much that he'll stand up for the Lord regardless if it's considered uncool. there's something so inviting and strong and sexy about a man who has fallen in love with God and builds his life around the Lord.
06.16.08
ahhhhhhhhh!!!
i got a text from linda. her water broke at 3:30 this morning. she's at the hospital with an ocean view and says there's a good 15 hours before peanut will be here. 15 hours, really?! well, good things are worth waiting for!
i'm excited for the moment when she'll look her son in the eyes for the first time. what a beautiful, profound, important moment it will be!
i'm also excited God answered our prayers! a little group of us have been praying that linda would have a natural birth. she was due yesterday and scheduled to have induced labor at 6:00 this morning if it didn't happen before then. she was so fearful of being induced. God is so good! not a moment too early or too soon...perfect timing! God has been so faithful with answering prayers. my faith is small and each and every time i'm surprised all over again that He hears us.
happy birthday peanut!!!
i got a text from linda. her water broke at 3:30 this morning. she's at the hospital with an ocean view and says there's a good 15 hours before peanut will be here. 15 hours, really?! well, good things are worth waiting for!
i'm excited for the moment when she'll look her son in the eyes for the first time. what a beautiful, profound, important moment it will be!
i'm also excited God answered our prayers! a little group of us have been praying that linda would have a natural birth. she was due yesterday and scheduled to have induced labor at 6:00 this morning if it didn't happen before then. she was so fearful of being induced. God is so good! not a moment too early or too soon...perfect timing! God has been so faithful with answering prayers. my faith is small and each and every time i'm surprised all over again that He hears us.
happy birthday peanut!!!
Sunday
06.15.08 p.s.
i'm drinking blue like jazz. everyone needs to read it. i'm now through chapter five and have to share more quotes:
"the magical proposition of the gospel, once free from the clasps of fairy tale, was very adult to me, very gritty like something from hemingway or steinbeck, like something with copious amounts of sex and blood. christian spirituality was not a children's story. it wasn't cute or neat. it was mystical and odd and clean, and it was reaching into dirty. there was wonder in it and enchantment."
"i always thought the bible was more of a salad thing, you know, but it isn't. it is a chocolate thing."
"the magical proposition of the gospel, once free from the clasps of fairy tale, was very adult to me, very gritty like something from hemingway or steinbeck, like something with copious amounts of sex and blood. christian spirituality was not a children's story. it wasn't cute or neat. it was mystical and odd and clean, and it was reaching into dirty. there was wonder in it and enchantment."
"i always thought the bible was more of a salad thing, you know, but it isn't. it is a chocolate thing."
06.15.08
i just started reading blue like jazz. i'd hear numerous people tell me how great it was and finally got around to buying it. i'm only through chapter two but already a handful of pages are dog eared. here are a few quotes that made me stop and think:
"sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. it is as if they are showing you the way."
"i believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time."
"i think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself."
"for a moment, sitting there above the city, i imagined life outside of narcissism. i wondered how beautiful it might be to think of others as more important than myself. i wondered at how peaceful it might be not to be pestered by that childish voice that wants for pleasure and attention. i wondered what it would be like not to live in a house of mirrors, everywhere i go being reminded of myself."
okay, i'm off the the grocery store to buy hansen's diet ginger soda. i'm addicted and craving it badly enough to make a special trip. yum.
"sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. it is as if they are showing you the way."
"i believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time."
"i think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself."
"for a moment, sitting there above the city, i imagined life outside of narcissism. i wondered how beautiful it might be to think of others as more important than myself. i wondered at how peaceful it might be not to be pestered by that childish voice that wants for pleasure and attention. i wondered what it would be like not to live in a house of mirrors, everywhere i go being reminded of myself."
okay, i'm off the the grocery store to buy hansen's diet ginger soda. i'm addicted and craving it badly enough to make a special trip. yum.
Saturday
06.14.08
random, coffee-induced thoughts of the morning:
when and why did i start wearing color? i'm not drawn to black nearly as much as i used to be. and i'm even starting to wear dresses! interesting...
two cups of coffee and some good music make cleaning not nearly as bad.
i want to jump in the waves right now.
as i was drifting off to sleep last night i was imagining living on a huge plot of land, with a horse, a shetland pony, a dog and an elk. i was thinking how one would go about getting a license to have a pet elk. then i was thinking if he would get lonely without other deer around...and would he end up gorging one of the horses in the chest in attempt to play? then i realized it probably wasn't a good idea and i removed him from my daydream.
i have the worst memory. i can't remember dates, times, names...i've been known to forget something entirely and argue with my friends that it never happened. what i remember most about things are what wake my senses. examples: the perfect, warm, light blue of the sky in texas, the feeling of sand filtering through my hands at the beach, the smell of horses and a the texture of mane wrapping around my fingers, a song playing at the perfect moment when the stars look brighter than ever before, the warmth of a dancing campfire, the first, deep breath of cold morning air, the smell of sage when i first stepped off the plane in oregon, the sound of leaves from the trees rustling in the wind, my heart beating rapidly in my chest and tears warm in my eyes (africa especially!)...i could go on and on.
today i'll be shopping with shannon for a dress and some new work shoes. i'm so lazy when it comes to clothes.
i think i'll play my guitar today.
the end.
when and why did i start wearing color? i'm not drawn to black nearly as much as i used to be. and i'm even starting to wear dresses! interesting...
two cups of coffee and some good music make cleaning not nearly as bad.
i want to jump in the waves right now.
as i was drifting off to sleep last night i was imagining living on a huge plot of land, with a horse, a shetland pony, a dog and an elk. i was thinking how one would go about getting a license to have a pet elk. then i was thinking if he would get lonely without other deer around...and would he end up gorging one of the horses in the chest in attempt to play? then i realized it probably wasn't a good idea and i removed him from my daydream.
i have the worst memory. i can't remember dates, times, names...i've been known to forget something entirely and argue with my friends that it never happened. what i remember most about things are what wake my senses. examples: the perfect, warm, light blue of the sky in texas, the feeling of sand filtering through my hands at the beach, the smell of horses and a the texture of mane wrapping around my fingers, a song playing at the perfect moment when the stars look brighter than ever before, the warmth of a dancing campfire, the first, deep breath of cold morning air, the smell of sage when i first stepped off the plane in oregon, the sound of leaves from the trees rustling in the wind, my heart beating rapidly in my chest and tears warm in my eyes (africa especially!)...i could go on and on.
today i'll be shopping with shannon for a dress and some new work shoes. i'm so lazy when it comes to clothes.
i think i'll play my guitar today.
the end.
Friday
06.13.08
i was doing good for a few days, but the craving is back again for open land and it's wild lifestyle. today i'm missing having a dog to go hiking with, take on camping trips, wrestle with, hug and get dirty with. i have my heart set on an australian cattle dog. just as soon as i find my open land, i'm getting myself a puppy!
i love this photo (grabbed from google). i can just smell the trees and imagine snuggling my nose in his furry neck.
i love this photo (grabbed from google). i can just smell the trees and imagine snuggling my nose in his furry neck.
Thursday
06.12.08 p.s.
one more thing...
during the ceremony eva went up on stage, was called a special kid and had a medal put around her neck. i could just feel how proud and happy and loved she felt. every single kid went up on stage, was named special and received a medal, one by one.
it got me thinking. things like that need to happen more often. we don't share with people nearly enough how special they are to us. how would you feel if someone called you special, with complete sincerity? now imagine sharing that warm-fuzzing feeling and telling someone how special they are to you...especially if they haven't heard it from you before.
during the ceremony eva went up on stage, was called a special kid and had a medal put around her neck. i could just feel how proud and happy and loved she felt. every single kid went up on stage, was named special and received a medal, one by one.
it got me thinking. things like that need to happen more often. we don't share with people nearly enough how special they are to us. how would you feel if someone called you special, with complete sincerity? now imagine sharing that warm-fuzzing feeling and telling someone how special they are to you...especially if they haven't heard it from you before.
06.12.08
evalyn graduated preschool today. i went to her graduation ceremony after work.
the park was filled with 75+ preschoolers and their siblings, a pirate and his five noisy parrots, sticky fingers and faces from cotton candy, popcorn and snow cones (the smell was amazing), laughter and screams of childish delight, bubbles in the air, sunshine, a balloon guy making most anything (i had elyssa ask for a unicorn to stump him but he was up for the challenge), balloon sword and flower fights, hugs galore...
it was delightful and made me feel so young and so old all at once.
here's a picture i took of eva, mid-jump on the moving bridge.
the park was filled with 75+ preschoolers and their siblings, a pirate and his five noisy parrots, sticky fingers and faces from cotton candy, popcorn and snow cones (the smell was amazing), laughter and screams of childish delight, bubbles in the air, sunshine, a balloon guy making most anything (i had elyssa ask for a unicorn to stump him but he was up for the challenge), balloon sword and flower fights, hugs galore...
it was delightful and made me feel so young and so old all at once.
here's a picture i took of eva, mid-jump on the moving bridge.
Wednesday
06.11.08
i've been feeling strangely sleepy these days. so much so that i have to fight not to fall asleep during my lunch break at work. i'll try to read and before i know it my eyes are half closed. i was asleep by 8 o'clock last night!
i'm still meaning to share pictures from my stupendous birthday surprise, but until then, here's a picture from Monday night when Linda and Ken came to my Mom's for dinner. It's Linda with her baby belly and me with a very large grapefruit belly.
i'm still meaning to share pictures from my stupendous birthday surprise, but until then, here's a picture from Monday night when Linda and Ken came to my Mom's for dinner. It's Linda with her baby belly and me with a very large grapefruit belly.
Friday
06.06.08 p.s.
i am playing the acoustic version of maps (by yeah yeah yeahs) on my ipod and watching rufus swim around his bowl. have you ever really looked at a fish? especially a beta fish as handsome as rufus? his fins flutter around like little wings and all his colors and delicate details just amaze me. (i'm sure coworkers think i'm a tad strange, sitting here peering intensely into the fish bowl). how can people look at beautiful things like this and think it was all created by some massive accident?
06.06.08
i've been meaning to write but life is wonderfully busy these days. i'm getting pretty used to not being a hermit and it's a fabulous thing. i'm starting to feel the lack of sleep though...
i've fallen back into my addiction with coffee. it's a fantastic thing having a 7-11 on my block. every morning for the past two weeks i've stopped on my way to work for a warm cup of half french vanilla coffee and half vanilla cappuccino. i even bought a coffee maker on my birthday so i can start making my own at home. yum.
i'm going to try to upload pictures from my birthday celebration this weekend to share. stay tuned...
i've fallen back into my addiction with coffee. it's a fantastic thing having a 7-11 on my block. every morning for the past two weeks i've stopped on my way to work for a warm cup of half french vanilla coffee and half vanilla cappuccino. i even bought a coffee maker on my birthday so i can start making my own at home. yum.
i'm going to try to upload pictures from my birthday celebration this weekend to share. stay tuned...
Sunday
06.01.08
i am still so overwhelmed with yesterday that i can't process it into words. i still get choked up when i think about how profoundly blessed i am with the people in my life. each and every person i saw yesterday holds a unique and special place in my heart. i love you!
thank you for making a day i will always cherish...and turning 30 into a celebration of all the blessings i have.
thank you for making a day i will always cherish...and turning 30 into a celebration of all the blessings i have.
Friday
05.30.08 p/s
i can't wait to find some quiet time to start on my new idea for the big canvas that's sitting, half painted, in my room.
sky blue background, orange octopus, black ink and possibly a quote in the top right corner...
sky blue background, orange octopus, black ink and possibly a quote in the top right corner...
05.30.08
i want to learn how to draw octopus.
i think i want to paint an orange one on of my blue canvases.
i think i want to paint an orange one on of my blue canvases.
Thursday
05.29.08 p/s
i've been feeling really blue. i'm not sure if it's because of texas or because of 30, although it's probably a bit of both.
wide-open spaces are still fresh in my mind and the reality of being back in the city is numbing. it literally hurts my heart. i ache so badly to be free of the city. i know i don't belong here but i don't know how to leave. i'm scared of doing it alone. i'm scared to leave behind my family, my friends, my job and all that is familiar...but i don't want to spend the next five years harboring this heartache because i'm too scared to do something about it. i'm torn and confused and wishing either my heart would grow steady or I'd find the courage to follow the ache.
turning 30 next week isn't helping. it's forcing me to reflect on my past years and realize how long i've been carrying around this desire - how long i've been heartsick for an escape from the city. every year i tell myself this is the year things will change, and that year melts right into the next and soon enough a whole group of years has come and gone and i'm still longing and hurting and craving for wide-open spaces.
wide-open spaces are still fresh in my mind and the reality of being back in the city is numbing. it literally hurts my heart. i ache so badly to be free of the city. i know i don't belong here but i don't know how to leave. i'm scared of doing it alone. i'm scared to leave behind my family, my friends, my job and all that is familiar...but i don't want to spend the next five years harboring this heartache because i'm too scared to do something about it. i'm torn and confused and wishing either my heart would grow steady or I'd find the courage to follow the ache.
turning 30 next week isn't helping. it's forcing me to reflect on my past years and realize how long i've been carrying around this desire - how long i've been heartsick for an escape from the city. every year i tell myself this is the year things will change, and that year melts right into the next and soon enough a whole group of years has come and gone and i'm still longing and hurting and craving for wide-open spaces.
05.29.08
have a little faith in me by john hiatt = my new favorite song
i keep thinking about how amazing it was to kiss a giraffe and i just have to share the moment:
i keep thinking about how amazing it was to kiss a giraffe and i just have to share the moment:
Wednesday
05.28.08 p/s
i've been melancholy today. i miss how i felt in texas. i miss my friend dearly. i miss being out in the open. i miss being away from all the things i hate about orange county. i miss being around horses. i miss it all.
05.28.08
I'm listning to Grand Ole Party here at work, while sipping black coffee in my new Starbucks Dallas mug, bleary eyed and heartsick for the country.
Thursday
Wednesday
05.21.08
Summer is on it's way!
Here are just a few things I'm looking forward to:
-the smell of bbqs and freshly cut grass
-hot afternoons playing in the ocean
-the sun staying out late into the day
-sunburnt shoulders
-driving with the windows down
-fresh fruit: cherries, watermelon, grapes (frozen too!), pineapple, strawberries
-fresh veggies: squash, zucchini, corn, artichoke
-concerts outdoors
-laughing (people always seem to be in happier moods in summertime)
-flip flops
-fourth-of-july fireworks
-my nieces visiting me at work for lunch
Here are just a few things I'm looking forward to:
-the smell of bbqs and freshly cut grass
-hot afternoons playing in the ocean
-the sun staying out late into the day
-sunburnt shoulders
-driving with the windows down
-fresh fruit: cherries, watermelon, grapes (frozen too!), pineapple, strawberries
-fresh veggies: squash, zucchini, corn, artichoke
-concerts outdoors
-laughing (people always seem to be in happier moods in summertime)
-flip flops
-fourth-of-july fireworks
-my nieces visiting me at work for lunch
Tuesday
05.20.08
i worked through lunch today but in the middle of it i suddenly had the strongest urge to draw. it came on so quickly and out of nowhere. so, i stopped working and sketched an elk.
it felt amazing!
it's like something builds up in me. if i go awhile without drawing i'll eventually get this intense, sudden desire to draw. i'll have to do it that very instant or i'll get anxious and distracted by thoughts of pen and paper. the elk took literally minutes, it just poured out, and afterwards i felt a great sense of peace. it's so bizarre.
it felt amazing!
it's like something builds up in me. if i go awhile without drawing i'll eventually get this intense, sudden desire to draw. i'll have to do it that very instant or i'll get anxious and distracted by thoughts of pen and paper. the elk took literally minutes, it just poured out, and afterwards i felt a great sense of peace. it's so bizarre.
Sunday
05.18.08
things i've wanted to be "when i grow up", starting from as far back as i can remember:
-farmer
-jockey
-vet
-author
-horse trainer
-artist
-child psychologist
-photographer
-graphic designer
-helicopter pilot
-makeup artist
-band manager
-web designer
-event planner
-art teacher
-owner of a non-profit
-farmer
-jockey
-vet
-author
-horse trainer
-artist
-child psychologist
-photographer
-graphic designer
-helicopter pilot
-makeup artist
-band manager
-web designer
-event planner
-art teacher
-owner of a non-profit
Thursday
Monday
05.12.08
being sick sucks...but laying in bed all day watching sex and the city dvds with purring cats on my feet make it a little better.
Friday
05.09.08
i felt compelled to read 1 Corinthians 13 last night, in honor of my revelation yesterday. I've read it many times before, but the beginning really struck me on a different chord this time. It hit home a lot harder than it usually does.
Above all else, I must love.
"If I could speak all languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing." - 1 Cor. 13:1-3
Above all else, I must love.
"If I could speak all languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing." - 1 Cor. 13:1-3
Thursday
05.08.08
i had a humbling experience this afternoon. it opened my eyes to how judgmental i can be...and also how damaging my assumptions are.
i realized today that i don't love people nearly as much as i should and i'm deeply disappointed in myself.
i had a wonderful talk with one of my bosses this afternoon -- someone i respect and trust. she told me she was the one who wanted me to stop drawing in meetings, not D. she was looking out for my best interest. oh man, did that hurt. it hurts because i've been harboring awful feelings towards D, who was completely innocent in the whole thing. it hurts because i've been carrying around assumptions and judging him. how wicked and awful of me!
i feel i owe D a mighty apology...even if he has no idea how i've been feeling towards him. i want to start fresh -- not just with him, but with anyone and everyone i've harbored ill feelings towards. my job as a follower of Christ is to love and i've been doing a pretty crummy job of it lately.
i realized today that i don't love people nearly as much as i should and i'm deeply disappointed in myself.
i had a wonderful talk with one of my bosses this afternoon -- someone i respect and trust. she told me she was the one who wanted me to stop drawing in meetings, not D. she was looking out for my best interest. oh man, did that hurt. it hurts because i've been harboring awful feelings towards D, who was completely innocent in the whole thing. it hurts because i've been carrying around assumptions and judging him. how wicked and awful of me!
i feel i owe D a mighty apology...even if he has no idea how i've been feeling towards him. i want to start fresh -- not just with him, but with anyone and everyone i've harbored ill feelings towards. my job as a follower of Christ is to love and i've been doing a pretty crummy job of it lately.
Wednesday
Monday
05.05.08 p/s
I sent this link to a few people at work who love to embarrass their cats: www.wikihow.com/Crochet-a-Cat-Hat
this morning, barbara came by my cube with a hat she made by following the directions. (i won't even get started on how awesome she is for making one)
my mission? to put it on my cats tonight and take pictures.
barbara, this is for you!
this morning, barbara came by my cube with a hat she made by following the directions. (i won't even get started on how awesome she is for making one)
my mission? to put it on my cats tonight and take pictures.
barbara, this is for you!
05.05.08
lori came over yesterday and helped me rearrange my apartment. it's so cute now -- so cute, in fact, that i'm actually looking forward to inviting people over. this is a pretty big deal considering i don't open my home to many. dinner party, anyone?
no more minivan for me -- i got my car back from the shop today. i didn't realize how attached i was to it until it was taken away from me for 8 days. driving home was so much fun -- zooming around close to the ground in my little go cart.
it just hit 100,000 miles and it's still kicking strong. vroom vroom!
no more minivan for me -- i got my car back from the shop today. i didn't realize how attached i was to it until it was taken away from me for 8 days. driving home was so much fun -- zooming around close to the ground in my little go cart.
it just hit 100,000 miles and it's still kicking strong. vroom vroom!
Sunday
Friday
05.02.08
I've been told by my dear friend Lori that I am officially not in the hermit category any longer.
Sometimes I miss being a hermit and my guitar/books/bed call to me.
Then I think of all the fabulous adventures I've been on lately, all the special friendships I've made and how exciting it is getting out there and LIVING life -- my guitar/books/bed will always be here but this day won't ever come again.
I'm tired and feel the urge to curl up in my bed and read, but it's my sister's birthday dinner tonight and I wouldn't miss it for all the hermity things in the world. :)
Sometimes I miss being a hermit and my guitar/books/bed call to me.
Then I think of all the fabulous adventures I've been on lately, all the special friendships I've made and how exciting it is getting out there and LIVING life -- my guitar/books/bed will always be here but this day won't ever come again.
I'm tired and feel the urge to curl up in my bed and read, but it's my sister's birthday dinner tonight and I wouldn't miss it for all the hermity things in the world. :)
Tuesday
04.29.08
last night i took my car to the body shop and then had my mom take me to pick up a rental car. all they had in my price category was a minivan! it's definintely nothing like a 2-door civic, but by the time i got home i was loving it. i want to pile a group of friends in the minivan and head off on a roadtrip adventure!
i love adrian johnson's work.
i think i want to turn this into a hoodie (it's my favorite):
i love adrian johnson's work.
i think i want to turn this into a hoodie (it's my favorite):
Monday
04.28.08
i'm sitting here at work, enjoying a warm cup of oatmeal with a dash of brown sugar, and realized i already broke my sugar fast!
Sunday
Saturday
Thursday
04.24.08
i borrowed a cat collar from linda who was borrowing it from barbara. i saw it on linda's desk and just had to take it home for the night to embarrass my cats with. you see, it's not an ordinary cat collar. lily was curious but griffin was completely and totally annoyed by the whole thing.
Wednesday
04.23.08
i think i've FINALLY decided on how i'm going to color my hair. i know, i know, i'm sure you've all been on pins and needles waiting. ;)
i'm excited and can't help but share.
i'm excited and can't help but share.
Tuesday
04.22.08
i'm going to hear John Eldredge speak tonight -- and then hopefully have him sign a book or two.
i'm excited! he has inspired me so much over the past few months.
i'm excited! he has inspired me so much over the past few months.
Sunday
04.20.08 p/p/s
i was driving on the freeway today with my windows down and tim mcgraw blaring. before i knew it, i was stuck in the center of a vivid daydream. the freeway turned into an open highway and i was alone on the road. the land was flat as far as my eyes could see and the sky was a bright turquoise with giant, white clouds. the highway was lined with wildflowers and i swear i could smell earth and dried grass. the daydream lasted only a few seconds or so, but afterwards there was such a longing and homesickness in my heart that i couldn't hold back tears.
i feel like i'm going mad sometimes.
i feel like i'm going mad sometimes.
04.20.08 p/s
i took my younger niece, Eva, to paint a piggie bank today. it was for her birthday.
i decided to paint one too. i'm glad i did because now i'll have a reminder of how much fun i had with her.
she's so special and so dear.
my piggie bank:
i decided to paint one too. i'm glad i did because now i'll have a reminder of how much fun i had with her.
she's so special and so dear.
my piggie bank:
04.20.08
if only i could sing and play half as good as patty griffin. i'd be delighted beyond imagination.
here she is with emmylou:
here she is with emmylou:
Thursday
Wednesday
04.16.08 p/s
top reason why aliens don't wear clothes:
their fingers are too long to work with buttons
right now i'm downloading children running through by patty griffin. i wish i could sing half as good as her. everyone must own at least one of her albums.
their fingers are too long to work with buttons
right now i'm downloading children running through by patty griffin. i wish i could sing half as good as her. everyone must own at least one of her albums.
04.16.08
i really need to clean my place.
it's a messy disaster.
who has time to clean when there are so many fun things to do instead?
it's a messy disaster.
who has time to clean when there are so many fun things to do instead?
Sunday
04.13.08
I want to be brave and courageous and fiercely passionate and so full of faith and trust that I will be like Peter, leaping from the boat in the midst of a ferocious storm and walking on water towards my Lord because I have certain faith He won't let me drown.
Saturday
04.12.08
I've been inspired lately to get another tattoo. The inspiration is growing -- especially after seeing Regina get hers and then talking to Christie and her hubby last night. For years and years I've wanted to get a sacred heart. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to cover up my old tattoo on my lower back or find another spot for it.
Then again, knowing me it will take another handful of years before I actually do it.
Then again, knowing me it will take another handful of years before I actually do it.
Friday
04.11.08
please brush your teeth before you go to the gym.
it's the most unpleasant thing working out next to someone who has terrible breath.
it's the most unpleasant thing working out next to someone who has terrible breath.
Thursday
04.10.08 p/s
i need a makeover.
i'm bored with myself.
i want to do something different with my hair
or buy some fabulous new clothes i wouldn't typically wear
or move to an exciting new place...
i am stir crazy and anxious and stale.
i wish i were wildly creative and mysteriously cool.
i'm bored with myself.
i want to do something different with my hair
or buy some fabulous new clothes i wouldn't typically wear
or move to an exciting new place...
i am stir crazy and anxious and stale.
i wish i were wildly creative and mysteriously cool.
04.10.08
I love Fraggles. I used to watch Fraggle Rock all the time when I was a kid. So, I couldn't help but take the what-kind-of-fraggle-are-you quiz.
I'm 100% Mokey:
You are creative, thoughtful, graceful, poetic, dreamy, artistic, and helpful. You're also not very closely in touch with reality, but people can't help but to love you in spite of that. When you're not painting, writing, or helping someone, you like to take long walks to get in touch with the Fraggle caves that are your environment. If you were human, you'd be an inoffensive hippie, but since you're a Fraggle, you're just Mokey.
Which Fraggle Rock character are you?
I'm 100% Mokey:
You are creative, thoughtful, graceful, poetic, dreamy, artistic, and helpful. You're also not very closely in touch with reality, but people can't help but to love you in spite of that. When you're not painting, writing, or helping someone, you like to take long walks to get in touch with the Fraggle caves that are your environment. If you were human, you'd be an inoffensive hippie, but since you're a Fraggle, you're just Mokey.
Which Fraggle Rock character are you?
Tuesday
04.08.08
strange. some days i wake up with a focus that i'm going to be a light and happiness, regardless of what the day throws my way...and those are the days that i feel most crabby. it's like there are these little bad-mood beasties just sitting over my head, trying to keep me from finding those sweet, simple delights in the day. not today! i'm determined to keep bad-mood beasties away. :)
file folder from yesterday:
file folder from yesterday:
Monday
04.07.08
Sometimes it's hard to be single and almost 30. There are people out there who think something's wrong with me because I'm not married. Some people tell me that it's up to me to make it happen -- that I need to throw myself out there -- that I need to date and start actively seeking a husband or before I know it I will be old, single and lonely. They threaten that if I don't start doing something soon I'm destined to the life of an old maid. I don't agree.
I want very much to be married one day but right now I'm content with the singleness God has brought into my life. It doesn't mean I don't care and don't want to be married (there are some days I cry because I want it so bad), but right now I am taking delight in this season of my life. I trust that the Lord has amazing plans and has put me here for a reason. For me not to be content or for me to try to grab for more than what He's provided means I'm not trusting in Him.
Being content in life means you are happy with where God has put you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
I want very much to be married one day but right now I'm content with the singleness God has brought into my life. It doesn't mean I don't care and don't want to be married (there are some days I cry because I want it so bad), but right now I am taking delight in this season of my life. I trust that the Lord has amazing plans and has put me here for a reason. For me not to be content or for me to try to grab for more than what He's provided means I'm not trusting in Him.
Being content in life means you are happy with where God has put you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Sunday
Saturday
04.05.08
i'm lazy and cranky today. i just want to sleep. it might have to do with the fact that griffin is once again up to his antics and keeping me up at night. it's a love-hate relationship with him. this afternoon i curled up in bed for about an hour and watched a bit of pirates of the caribbean. griffin jumped up on the bed and laid down next to me with his little chin resting on my arm and just purred and purred and purred.
here's something i did a long time ago for linda but just got around to sharing.
here's something i did a long time ago for linda but just got around to sharing.
Friday
04.04.08
tea makes my stomach warm and my heart happy.
currently, in my drawer here at work, I have the following flavors:
- organic green
- herbal spice
- mango black
- detox
- ginger
- peppermint
- chamomile
- strawberry
i just gave susan my orange spice tea b/c i thought it smelled and tasted a bit like vomit. no joke. she didn't like it either (who would?!).
i can't draw in meetings anymore but they haven't stopped me from drawing on my file folders...at least not yet.
currently, in my drawer here at work, I have the following flavors:
- organic green
- herbal spice
- mango black
- detox
- ginger
- peppermint
- chamomile
- strawberry
i just gave susan my orange spice tea b/c i thought it smelled and tasted a bit like vomit. no joke. she didn't like it either (who would?!).
i can't draw in meetings anymore but they haven't stopped me from drawing on my file folders...at least not yet.
Wednesday
04.02.08
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i'm so crabby today.
i think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
you can call me ms. crabby appleton.
even yogurtland didn't get rid of this cranky mood.
i'm so crabby today.
i think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
you can call me ms. crabby appleton.
even yogurtland didn't get rid of this cranky mood.
Monday
03.31.08
I can't ever remember it not being a part of me. I ache in my heart to live in the country.
Suddenly tonight, I came to the realization that this isn't something I will ever grow out of. It's a part of who I am and it's meant to stay.
I recently read Desire and I'm currently reading Waking the Dead, both by John Eldredge. (Desire is a MUST read) They speak loudly about listening to the calling in our hearts -- God placed them there for a reason. And so tonight I prayed. I asked God to open my eyes and show me why He's given me this desire.
As I began to pray my heart started to thunder. I'm beginning to learn that when my heart beats faster while I'm praying, it's God telling me there's something I need to pay attention to. I'm not certain what this all means but I'm excited! I feel so blessed to have a God who loves me and who gave me such wonderful desires of my heart and I cannot wait to see why He's put them there.
Suddenly tonight, I came to the realization that this isn't something I will ever grow out of. It's a part of who I am and it's meant to stay.
I recently read Desire and I'm currently reading Waking the Dead, both by John Eldredge. (Desire is a MUST read) They speak loudly about listening to the calling in our hearts -- God placed them there for a reason. And so tonight I prayed. I asked God to open my eyes and show me why He's given me this desire.
As I began to pray my heart started to thunder. I'm beginning to learn that when my heart beats faster while I'm praying, it's God telling me there's something I need to pay attention to. I'm not certain what this all means but I'm excited! I feel so blessed to have a God who loves me and who gave me such wonderful desires of my heart and I cannot wait to see why He's put them there.
Sunday
03.30.08
yesterday i took a road trip out to joshua tree with anna and lori. it was the most fun i've had in a long time. the day was full of laughter, adventure, prayer and the freedom to let go and be ourselves completely and totally. i felt refreshed and alive and so very happy! God filled our day with an abundance of blessings.
today i took rocky to the movies. i discovered his interesting way of riding when he climbed onto my shoulders like a little parrot. thankfully he did b/c on the way home someone rear ended us. if rocky weren't tucked away between me and the head rest, i'm sure he would have flown across the car. everyone (me, rocky and the other guy) are okay but my car is dented pretty badly.
today i took rocky to the movies. i discovered his interesting way of riding when he climbed onto my shoulders like a little parrot. thankfully he did b/c on the way home someone rear ended us. if rocky weren't tucked away between me and the head rest, i'm sure he would have flown across the car. everyone (me, rocky and the other guy) are okay but my car is dented pretty badly.
Friday
03.28.08
My Uncle Kevin turned 40 today. Last night my Mom and I went to the dollar store and bought 40 stuffed monkeys. As soon as Kev and his family turned out the lights for the night, my Mom and I snuck over and put monkeys all over his car!
I'm going to Joshua Tree tomorrow with Anna and Lori and I am SO excited! I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty amazing day.
I'm going to Joshua Tree tomorrow with Anna and Lori and I am SO excited! I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty amazing day.
Thursday
03.27.08
i got to my Mom's a little early and caught a bit of America's Next Top Model...I want to do this to my hair next time I go in:
Wednesday
03.26.08
last night i met up with oh-so-fabulous christie and we joined the gym...then went to yogurtland. (oh how i love yogurtland) i'm excited about our new gym memberships! we are going to meet up at least once a week for yoga -- such fun!
today i felt inspired to dive into my new gym membership and use the elliptical machine. instead i stayed home and did a workout dvd. i'm a little apprehensive about going to the gym alone...i am clueless how to use all the machines! the last time i tried a treadmill i fell off it! haha -- i can only imagine the trouble i'd get into trying to figure out some of the more advanced machines. hopefully in the next few days i'll feel up for the adventure.
i'm going to run a few errands right now and then go to my mom's to watch american idol with her and rocky.
life is simple but good.
today i felt inspired to dive into my new gym membership and use the elliptical machine. instead i stayed home and did a workout dvd. i'm a little apprehensive about going to the gym alone...i am clueless how to use all the machines! the last time i tried a treadmill i fell off it! haha -- i can only imagine the trouble i'd get into trying to figure out some of the more advanced machines. hopefully in the next few days i'll feel up for the adventure.
i'm going to run a few errands right now and then go to my mom's to watch american idol with her and rocky.
life is simple but good.
Tuesday
03.25.08 p/s
I got a fantastic phone call this afternoon from Shannon. She said, "hello Auntie Jesika" and it took me a few seconds to realize that meant SHE'S PREGNANT!!!! I was in my cube and wanted so badly to leap onto my desk and jump up and down, shouting and laughing loud and crazy like. Instead, I let out a few muffled yelps and kept my hands in fist until my fingers started to turn white. I'm SO excited for her!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
big, fantastic news!
big, fantastic news!
03.25.08
i am determined to be victorious at work today!
My Ingram buddy, Susan, sent this little guy through e-mail and I love him so much. He just exuberates victory.
Tonight I am meeting Christie to join the gym (and celebrate over a tasty Yogurtland soft serve). I'm looking forward to becoming a gym rat.
My Ingram buddy, Susan, sent this little guy through e-mail and I love him so much. He just exuberates victory.
Tonight I am meeting Christie to join the gym (and celebrate over a tasty Yogurtland soft serve). I'm looking forward to becoming a gym rat.
Monday
03.24.08
i was ready to take on the week and start monday on a good note...but that idea fizzled this afternoon when i was told i'm not allowed to draw in the monday-morning status meetings anymore. every monday morning, the creative team goes over any jobs that need attention. 1% of the time a job that actually pertains to the web team is brought up, and if it's my job i don't hesitate to respond. never has my doodling effect my response time or my input. i was told that my doodling doesn't put off a good perception. a perception to whom?!! it's an internal meeting with all my peers!!! geez...you would think i don't work in the CREATIVE SERVICES department! (i'm still fuming)
i know it came from D. -- he's trying to move up and be our director and he's pushing his power around. now i have to decide to bite my lip and play this stupid game...or to fight back. i am so, so prideful and HATE biting my lip -- it's going to be hard not to fight. UGH!!!!
i see the sea:
i know it came from D. -- he's trying to move up and be our director and he's pushing his power around. now i have to decide to bite my lip and play this stupid game...or to fight back. i am so, so prideful and HATE biting my lip -- it's going to be hard not to fight. UGH!!!!
i see the sea:
Saturday
03.22.08
i'm feeling rather melancholy today. i'm not quite sure where it's coming from. the good thing is that it brought my creativity to life -- i finally pulled down the huge canvas and started to paint today. i ran out of paint b/c the canvas is so large and had to stop, but it was satisfying while it lasted. hopefully i can find a store that's open tomorrow to buy more paint. i want to get my idea down before it goes away and all i have is an unfinished background...
Tuesday
03.18.08
i've done so much laughing in the last few days I just can't imagine what it will be like when Regina is back in Zimbabwe. my heart hurts just thinking about it.
Thursday
Wednesday
03.12.08
music is one of the few things on earth that makes me the happiest i can be. i can never, ever get enough of it. lucky me, i have a friend who makes the most stupendous mixes and shares his music all the time. i feel like it's my birthday over and over again. i'm listening to a few songs from him right now and am happy, happy, happy. thanks KK!
Tuesday
Monday
03.10.08
yesterday i got a glimpse of what heaven must be like. i was driving down the 15 on my way to visit sara in temecula. the sun was out and the air was warm, the sky was clear and blue and the hills shone with a brilliant green. it was absolutely stunning. then, just a few more miles down, the hills became painted with vibrant orange flowers -- thousands of california poppies. i have never seen anything like it...wildflowers scattered across emerald hills as far as i could see. it was something out of a dream -- an overwhelming display of God's masterpiece. i felt honored and touched to be there, breathing in the warm air, feeling the sun on my face and gazing at the wild colors where flowers met hills and hills met sky. i felt happy to be alive.
Thursday
03.06.08
results from a personality test i took:
The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.
You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings.
At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.
How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak
The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.
You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings.
At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.
How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak
Wednesday
03.05.08
i've been informed those evil cookies didn't even taste good. the news delights me.
today, after lunch, linda and i walked the chinese market. there were so many new and fascinating things to look at! i was most excited about the durian fruit, armored in spikes. i picked one up and marveled at how heavy it was. i was about to buy it, curious to see what was inside, but linda told me they smell and taste like dirty feet. i think i like them even more now, knowing they smell and taste about as uninviting as they look.
instead, i took the safe route and bought some seaweed for soup. yum.
today, after lunch, linda and i walked the chinese market. there were so many new and fascinating things to look at! i was most excited about the durian fruit, armored in spikes. i picked one up and marveled at how heavy it was. i was about to buy it, curious to see what was inside, but linda told me they smell and taste like dirty feet. i think i like them even more now, knowing they smell and taste about as uninviting as they look.
instead, i took the safe route and bought some seaweed for soup. yum.
Tuesday
03.04.08
the sugar fast almost got the best of me today. susan's cube is right next to mine and each time I passed by, her jar of chocolates screamed my name. i had visions of biting into a hershey's treasure -- milk chocolate and little toffee pieces melting on my tongue. sugary delight! the craving got so bad towards the afternoon i decided to go to the sink and get some hot water for ginger tea. at least that would keep my taste buds busy. cup in hand, i headed towards the drink station, proud of myself for denying the chocolate that had been taunting me all day. i turned the corner and stopped dead in my tracks. there, sitting proudly on the counter, was a huge platter of what must have been at least 50-75 chocolate chip cookies. the smell alone almost knocked me to my knees.
let me stop right here and tell you...i have an absolute weakness for chocolate chip cookies. they are my favorite of all tasty treats.
i could feel my will power crumbling by the second. i tiptoed past the cookies and kept my mind focused on hot water.
hot water.
hot water.
hot water.
i could smell them as i filled my cup. i could almost taste them.
determined, i took my water and marched past the cookies, but in the end it was just too much -- after a few steps i spun around, walked back, eyed an especially chunky cookie and snatched it up! i put it to my nose and inhaled as i walked back towards my cube, smiling.
in one last attempt to win the battle, i stopped at linda's cube to confessed what i was about to do. to my horror and to my delight, linda grabbed the cookie from under my nose and chucked it in the trash.
i love linda.
let me stop right here and tell you...i have an absolute weakness for chocolate chip cookies. they are my favorite of all tasty treats.
i could feel my will power crumbling by the second. i tiptoed past the cookies and kept my mind focused on hot water.
hot water.
hot water.
hot water.
i could smell them as i filled my cup. i could almost taste them.
determined, i took my water and marched past the cookies, but in the end it was just too much -- after a few steps i spun around, walked back, eyed an especially chunky cookie and snatched it up! i put it to my nose and inhaled as i walked back towards my cube, smiling.
in one last attempt to win the battle, i stopped at linda's cube to confessed what i was about to do. to my horror and to my delight, linda grabbed the cookie from under my nose and chucked it in the trash.
i love linda.
Monday
03.03.08
i don't know what to do. griffin is keeping me up at night and is so bored he's destroying my apartment. i've been torn for quite some time about finding him a new home -- somewhere he can actually get some attention -- but when i start to seriously consider it i want to start crying. he's such a little jerk but he's so attached to me. he's like a dog...he'll follow me around the apartment, play fetch and run to the door when i get home. and i love how he's so fat and fluffy and purs constantly. i'm desperate for some real sleep though...
Eva with her pig cakes:
Eva with her pig cakes:
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